Thursday, December 17, 2009

"Hi, operator. This is Officer Caruthers and I have a problem…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 6:24 PM Permalink

…I'm hoping you can help me with.
OP: I'll sure try, officer, what's the problem?
ME: Well, just as I'm coming up for promotion to detective my sergeant is suddenly receiving dun letters from one creditor after another. I know I pay every bill promptly, but I did notice that the problem started about the same time we got a new postal deliveryman in our neighborhood and I hate to jam him up unnecessarily if he's not the one causing the problem, but I have to get this straightened out or I'm gonna lose that promotion.
OP: How can I help?
Me: Well the phone company is among those sending dun letters but my wife and I can't remember if we set it up for the bill to come to our home or our P.O. box, so I need to find out which it is. It does seem we haven't gotten it
OP: And your number?
Me: 916, of course, 666-7777.
OP: Officer that number is listed to a Susan Smith.[half the info I needed already. Bill]
Me. Well, since i'm a police officer we keep our home phone unlisted under Sue's maiden name,
OP: Oh, that's understandable. I do so that going to your home address and it has been paid for this month
ME: Just so I can verify for my Sergeant whether or not there's jut a mix-up in the address or if I need to have a serious talk with my carrier is that going to our mailbox or our home address?
OP: I show the bill going to 109 North B St in Carmichael. ( a major suburb of Sacramento)
Me: Well, that's our address alright. It's either gotta be the carrier or some of the newer kids in the neighborhood that don't liked my squad car parked across the street from them all night; they may just be making trouble for me. Anyway, that's my problem and I do thank you very much for your time.
OP: Your welcome, sir, good-by.
Me: Good-bye, [and once again I had identified to whom an unlisted number belonged and at what address. So scary it eventually scared me at the ease and facility I could sell the most outrageous of lies, that were, for me, infallible, as I was after all a professional liar.]

Next posting I'll run my Don Caruthers scam for you, one which was, again, for me infallible, and for others to scary to even try. This one was designed, implemented, and perfected strictly by me, This was my baby, exclusively.

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