Fear of Flying

posted by The Vidiot @ 7:46 AM Permalink

I don't fear it because I don't understand flying. I GET it. Bernoulli's theory of lift, blah blah blah.

What I DO fear are the idiots running the show. These days, flying is an assault. Stop. Don't do that. You can't have that. Take off that. Let me touch that. Open that. Raise your arms. Bend over. Honestly, it's less degrading to be seen by a proctologist.

Then there's that whole liquid thing. No lotions, toothpaste, makeup over 4 ounces, mascara, it's ridiculous. Especially since the whole making-a bomb-out-of-liquids thing was completely and totally discredited. There was never any imminent threat. Not only was the whole plot a cynical ploy to distract the people from what was really going on at the time, the whole concept of the liquid bomb wasn't even feasible.

Also, while in route to Houston, just before we landed, this woman in front of us turned on her cell phone and called her family. The steward rushed over and said "Ma'am, using that phone could cause us to crash into another plane."

Now, other than answering the question of whether or not a cell phone call is possible at low altitudes over a major metropolitan area (it is), I had to ask myself the following question: If the use of a cell phone can cause one plane to crash into another, why aren't cell phones confiscated along with box cutters and water bottles?

Well, one might respond by saying something like: Well, it's a miniscule possibility, but a possibility nonetheless.

To which, I would have to reply: Is it any more miniscule than the totally unfeasible liquid bomb thing?

Ha.

Fly the unfriendly skies while we come up with more and more ways to make you suffer indignities at the hand of the State.