Friday, May 11, 2007

New "Surge" Effort to Save World Bank President

posted by Bill Arnett @ 11:40 AM Permalink

From the NYTs regarding what is becoming known as "The Wolfowitz Affair":
European leaders have told the Bush administration that Paul D. Wolfowitz must resign as president of the World Bank in order to avoid a vote next week by the bank’s board declaring that he no longer has its confidence to function as the bank’s leader, European officials said Thursday.…The officials said the board was drafting a resolution reflecting its view that the relationship between Mr. Wolfowitz and the governing body of the bank had “broken beyond repair.” They noted that, if he remained in office, some European countries were planning to reduce contributions to the World Bank that would aid poor countries and instead would channel the money to European agencies and other groups for distribution.…“The administration has been told that its battle to save Wolfowitz cannot be won,” said a European official, who like others who discussed the matter spoke on the condition of anonymity because the matter is confidential. “His relationship with the board is not only damaged. It is broken.”
President bush, already burdened with a crushing loss forthcoming in Iraq has vowed not to surrender to the World Bank. A source high in the White House anonymously reports that bush has vowed that he will use all the resources of the country to save his friend and the man he appointed to the bank, and that no options were off the table, including the use of America's nuclear arsenal. Unfortunately when the White House source was no longer high, he had very little information to add.

The president is currently ordering a surge in the number of accountants at the bank and has vowed to conduct an investigation that will not only clear his friend, but expose the rampant corruption at the bank, probably caused by economic terrorists. The initial surge will be composed of 5,700 graduates of the Pat Robertson School of Law and Accounting, although by the time all their support staff is included the surge will consist of about 12,500 accountants. most needed for slide rule and calculator maintenance, and much waving around of ledgers of paper covered with the numbers that will prove the president has made the right decision.

"If the World Bank thought 'Murka was gonna cut an' run just 'cause some bunch of terrists wanting to call themselves "the-Board" says we should, they will find that as long as I am president, I will never surrender. Hell, I don't even know how to surrender. I can't even spell it. We know from the CIA that the-Board are one and the same as al-Qaede, and if we don't fight them at the World Bank we will be fighting them at banks all across 'Murka."

For the meantime Mr. Wolfowitz repainted his office green, barricaded the doors, and constructed a fifteen foot wall around his office made up of hugh barriers weighing 15 tons each. From this new "Green Zone," Mr. Wolfowitz' tentacles of power will radiate outward in "clear and hold" operations like those that worked so well in Iraq.

Mr. Wolfowitz' only comment, made off the record and not for publication, was that regarding his innocence, "It's a slam dunk" that the terrorist affiliate group the-Board would fail in its attempt to intimidate America. His statement was released from an undisclosed location underneath his desk, where he remains in hiding wearing his flak jacket and helmet.

Labels: , , ,


At 9:51 AM, Blogger The Vidiot said...


Great post, man. You've outdone yourself.

At 11:32 AM, Blogger Bill Arnett said...

Thank you kindly, I did kinda have a lot of fun writing it!


Post a Comment

<< Home