Drug side effect warnings for GOP positions prove GOP on dope if they think they can win…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 1:08 PM Permalink

…in order to better serve their slack-jawed, drooling, runny nose constituents the Republican Party has started using political slogans formerly, and currently, used to sell drugs to their rank-and-file members. Next they will be providing drug usage warnings on their own, for their own.

See this articleHuffington Post.com:

Leave it to the tone deaf GOP to find a way of attaching themselves to this election cycle's "change" mandate that simultaneously reinforces the fact that their failed policies have messed up the world to such an inhuman extent that many Americans now live their daily lives in a state of free-floating panic and paralyzing anxiety.

In today's New York Times' Caucus blog, Carl Hulse reports that House Republicans have got themselves a brand-new slogan:

It looks like Republicans will counter the Democratic push for change from the years of the Bush administration with their own pledge to deliver, drum roll please, "the change you deserve." The first element of the party agenda developed over the past few months by the leadership and select party members will focus on family issues.[…]

What the GOP doesn't seem to realize, because they are idiots, is that "the change you deserve" is the registered advertising slogan of Effexor XR, a drug that many of you might have started taking as a result of all the...you know -- terrorism. (Hat tip to Bluestem for catching this gem.)

Effexor, also known as Venlafaxine, is approved for the treatment "of depression, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and panic disorder in adults." Its common side effects are very much in keeping with the world the House Republicans have striven to build: nausea, apathy, constipation, fatigue, vertigo, sexual dysfunction, sweating, memory loss, and - and I swear I am not making this up - "electric shock-like sensations also called 'brain zaps.'"

Its less common side effects are equally awesome in their appropriateness.

Yes, not content to cement their control of the electorate through current propagandize efforts the GOP will now be taking up valuable air time, magazine and newspaper column inches, and the threat of making the average person's son or daughters date only Republicans until the elections are passed.

The known side effects include explosive diarrhea, colorblindness from staring at their party leaders lily-white legs at conventions, sacrificing small children so they don't have to be insured, and, in very rare cases, the growth of a third eye in the center of the forehead.

Labels: Conservatives, GOP, humor, snark