Friday, July 11, 2008


posted by The Sailor @ 5:25 PM Permalink

Bad Hosts or Just Crackers?
Here's a story that will destroy your hopes for a reasonable humanity
Webster Cook says he smuggled a Eucharist, a small bread wafer that to Catholics symbolic of the Body of Christ after a priest blesses it, out of mass, didn't eat it as he was supposed to do, but instead walked with it.

This isn't the stupid part yet. He walked off with a cracker that was put in his mouth, and people in the church fought with him to get it back. It is just a cracker!

Catholics worldwide became furious.

Would you believe this isn't hyperbole? People around the world are actually extremely angry about this — Webster Cook has been sent death threats over his cracker. Those are just kooks, you might say, but here is the considered, measured response of the local diocese:

"We don't know 100% what Mr. Cooks motivation was," said Susan Fani a spokesperson with the local Catholic diocese. "However, if anything were to qualify as a hate crime, to us this seems like this might be it."

We just expect the University to take this seriously," she added "To send a message to not just Mr. Cook but the whole community that this kind of really complete sacrilege will not be tolerated."

Wait, what? Holding a cracker hostage is now a hate crime? The murder of Matthew Shephard was a hate crime. The murder of James Byrd Jr. was a hate crime. This is a goddamned cracker. Can you possibly diminish the abuse of real human beings any further?
It seems like the uproar is about the cracker actually being the body of Jesus once the cracker is consecrated. I'm pretty sure cannibalism is illegal in this country.

Of course, I thought necrophilia was illegal too ... and in that case Wisconsin agrees with me:
Wisconsin law bans sex with dead bodies

Wisconsin law bans sex with dead bodies, the state Supreme Court ruled Wednesday in reinstating charges against three men accused of digging up a corpse so one of them could have sex with it.

The court waded into the grisly case after lower court judges ruled nothing in state law banned necrophilia.
Well, I guess I was only 1/2 right, you can eat dead bodies, but you can't have intercourse with them ... or it's OK to eat live bodies, but you can't have sex with them?
I'm so confused.

Continuing my confusion: Longtime readers, (yes, I'm talking to both of you), know I'm a fan of Justice Bedsworth's online column. What is there not to like about a judge who titles his column "A Criminal Waste of Space"?
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
Bronko Nagurski and the Magical Penis Thieves
[just read the whole thing, the title makes sense.]
Speaking of blogtopiates, skippy, (who coined the phrase 'blogtopia'), had his 6th blogiversary* yesterday!!! Happy blogiversary to skippy and all his crew! Here's to many more!

*(y, wkjmctp!)

Cross posted at SteveAudio

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At 10:52 AM, Anonymous bill arnett said...

Necrophilia: Stopping off on the way home from work for a cold one.;-)

At 4:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

" Holding a cracker hostage is now a hate crime?"

Just a quick question...would you be making the same joke about the necrophilia and cannibalism if that was a Jewish tradition? If it was a "natural" religion in a place where you can feel that "special energy" and other people believe in it?. Would you qualify as a hate crime stealing the Torah and making threaths to desecrate it? Or a native American immage? Would you say that because the Native Americans believe it to be their ancestors is necrophilia? or cannibalism? I have to say that if you take "Catholic" out of the equation, suddenly the incident is not that "funny" and clear, is it?

At 1:24 PM, Anonymous bill arnett said...

My, my, SOMEBODY forgot their meds today and took themselves too seriously, looking for insults to Judaism despite the fact none was offered, and even tho the tone here was clearly mildly sarcastic and was to point out that SOME PEOPLE take themselves too seriously.

How did the Jews come up in this? Especially without ANY mention or inference that involved Judaism at all?

This is a serious problem today, IMHO, as people are so sensitive that they look for a fight over subjects never even brought up. And Judaism is no more or less a fraud perpetrated on the world than any other religion (except for their conceit in ignoring UN Resolution 242, circa 1967).

Please pardon my butting in, Sailor, but some comments can't be allowed to pass unanswered, seeming to lend them more weight than they will ever deserve.

At 3:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, but just for the record, I was not asking for insults against any religion or anyone, but using what I see is for you the unfamiliar concept of the rethorical question...also i was using the examples as a conceptual metaphor, in case somebody says that I'm looking for insults against Native Americans, cannibals or deade people! Thanks!

At 12:05 PM, Blogger The Vidiot said...

WTF? I come back from vacation, only to find folks grousing about a dumb little thing some guy did in church that I DID MYSELF when I was seven? (I was curious and wanted to see the the wafer under the light of day to see if it really did turn into flesh. It obviously did not and I was forever a lapsed catholic.)

Actually, I just wanted to insert myself into the conversation and show what a clever 7 year old I was.


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