Tuesday, July 06, 2010

The Vidiot, she wrote me a letter…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 1:08 PM Permalink

…it wasn't any great, world-rocking letter that every schoolchild should learn by rote, but is important in it's own right:
"i'm off to mexico today for 11 days. not back in NYC until the 19th. unless of course we're kidnapped or something, then, you know, blog's all yours."
But I am stricken by the Vidiot's incredible sense of timing and her knowledge of the Gulf, mostly from the time she has spent in New Orleans and the interesting mode of travel she has chosen.

She's motoring to Mexico from Louisiana on top of the oil layer that will now support a considerable amount of weight. Just in case she has taken along an inflatable air raft for those few remaining spots where the oil is too thin to support enough weight which are, thankfully growing fewer and fewer everyday. They are traveling in Land Rovers and Humvees.

I shouldn't really say much right now in this early period of negotiation, but she intends to visit with Mexican President Felipe Calderon and current ruler of Cuba, Raul Castro, with a very exciting proposal to build a superhighway across the top of the mile deep sludge that will lead to immediate commerce between Cuba and Mexico, and, hopefully will soon thereafter lead to open tourism between between both of those countries and the Gulf States of America, which are seceding from the union because they are sick of dickering around with U.S. Agencies and a government that can't seem to do or get anything done and work with real professionals from Mexico and Cuba.

Hopefully the Vidiot will return with the necessary treaties in her hot little hands and construction will begin by November 1st and end by December 31st, just in time to kick off New Year.

And for those tea-baggers afraid that this will lead to a mass exodus of illegal aliens, the Mexican and Cuban governments have guaranteed treatment at least equal to or surpassing the treatment meted out to former illegal aliens in America assuring the Vidiot that illegal aliens will be offered the opportunity to return to America peacefully before they are shot.

They are also carefully pointing out to the Vidiot that almost everyone making a mad dash across the Gulf to live a better life in Mexico and Cuba will likely hit one of the many spots of thin oil and will simply disappear completely, negating any need for hostilities.

So, let's all wish the Vidiot the very best of luck and pray her trip is successful.


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