Record-breaking Number of Foreclosures Just Another Sign of a Strong Economy

posted by Bill Arnett @ 12:31 PM Permalink

This has really been an exciting year for investors, lenders, and maladministration accountants, and the good news just doesn't stop. It looks as if there will be a fantastic new record set for foreclosures on homes with as many as 2.2-million potential foreclosures in the sub-prime home lenders market. Banks are ecstatic with the prospect of all those homes becoming available for resale so easily and without the hassle of building new homes that are just too darned expensive.

One accountant, who will remain nameless because he was supposed to wait for the president to make this grand announcement, says, "The excitement of foreclosures, auctions, and evicting the owners of so many homes has everyone buzzing. Never have I seen so much sheer exhilaration, a renewal of a sense of purpose, and people rising to meet the opportunity and challenge posed by foreclosing on such a great number of sub-prime loans," he said.

"There is a reason they are called 'sub-prime loans'," he explained, "Because people today are being paid substandard wages, they are forced to take out substandard, high interest loans on substandard housing at well above the 'prime' rate, thus you have sub-prime loans. There are a lot of people who simply do not understand the need for these kind of loans, making them prime targets of this dynamic new component of our strong economy as they are such substandard thinkers. It's very similar to people not understanding terrorism and our vital need to destroy the Middle East to save it from terrorists who have never attacked America. The public-at-large is too stupid to know what's good for them, hence the successful sub-prime lending boom which used trickery, deceit, and fine print unreadable without an electron microscope to make a hugh success of this type of loan."

Just take a look at this report:

American Home Mortgage Investment Corp. said on Tuesday it can no longer fund home loans and may liquidate assets, putting its survival in doubt and sending its shares plummeting 90 percent.

The large U.S. mortgage provider and real estate investment trust said its lenders cut off access to credit, leaving it without cash on Monday to fund $300 million of loans it had agreed to make.

It also expected to be unable to fund $450 million to $500 million of loans on Tuesday.

"What is so exciting about these numbers (losing about $800 million dollars) is that in repossessing 2.2 million homes two things happen: First, it puts back into play and on the market all those homes. Second, the vast numbers of dispossessed former homeowners wil once again experience the joy of buying even more substandard homes with loans offered at a predatory rate that will be much more draconian in terms than before," explained the accountant. "It's just business as usual and, when coupled with the rapidly falling stock market, failures in the bonds markets, our incredibly massive national debt, the value of the dollar plunging downward, inflation raising its ugly head, and the new bankruptcy law that won't let you declare bankruptcy unless your assets exceed 500 times the amount of your debt, unless you're an airline or mega-corporation, and you first get nude credit counseling from a Republican Party member. We have those poor bastids right where we want them."

Homebuilders are also relieved that they will finally get well-deserved vacation time.

"The housing boom, stock market increases of over 180%, and a balanced budget in the 90's almost killed my business," said homebuilder Mark Mywords. "That frenetic pace of everyone making money due to high employment and low inflation meant working 50-70 hour workweeks with lots of overtime that almost wiped me out. Thank god bush was appointed president in 2000 or the carnage caused by escalating and facilitating such a wild boom as the 90's placed so much stress on the homebuilding industry as to be intolerable. It also showed Clinton's and the Democrat's penchant for successful governing, efficient disaster relief, and the financial incentives of a bear market was disastrous. It nearly doubled or tripled the size of my business and the hassle of having all that money, all those employees, and work as far as the eye could see was just getting unbearable. It simply reaffirms that Democrats have no respect for families and are without shame in providing for the least amongst us. I say, 'Let 'em eat fiberboard,' and allow me to get back to spending more time with my family."

And as to the evictees? "Hey, I'm a Republican not a charitable organization," said Mr Mywords. "Who cares about those losers?"

A strong economy is just s-o-o-o cool.

Labels: Bush, Conservatives, corporate greed, Economy, snark