There was a time when I would have been angry for a time and then let this go freely…
posted by Bill Arnett @ 12:39 PM Permalink …floating off into my mind, wafting away on the breeze of bad luck and certain of a cosmic retribution for the cretin who did this.It's not even the value of the knives (although the by-hand 24ct gold gilded, hand etched hunting scenes on blades of the Russian knives were beautiful beyond belief).
My home has been violated. One of four four persons, aside my family, took it upon themselves to do me dirt and steal from me. And I hate nothing more than a thief.
They steal more than mere objects, they steal pieces of your soul, your heart, your security, and, in my case, further wreck an already damaged mind, losing cognizance ever faster, and sinking ever deeper into muck and the mire of psychotic depression.
I am no longer a healthy man, able to overcome such disappointments of what are really such an inconsequential nature anymore.
i am a recluse. I leave my house less than once a month, meaning that one of four people who knew where the knives were kept crept into my bedroom, took down my knife cases and stole only the four Russia Knives I valued so highly, not for their price, but for their sheer beauty, craftsmanship (each is hand made). and for that feeling of the bit of soul that went into making each knife.
Thanks for your well-meaning words, guys, there is a time I would have wholly agreed, before I went insane, but this is going to be very hard for the this time.
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11 Comments:
Bill;
I am intrigued by the snippets of information you have parsimoniously peppered throughout your confessions of dispair. Have you made a theft report to the police?
It seems that a most expensive matching set was the only thing lifted. You yourself are a quite an investigator who knows how to track "things" that don't particularly want to be found.
Ultimately, what would be more painful to you ... never discovering the perp, or finding out who did it?
Unrestfully entertaining such an antithetical conflict is most dangerous to yourself. It can make you so tired.
Ultimately, what illnesses you do suffer from can only be exacerbated. I hope you find a swift resolution.
DanD
Hi, Dan. You and Sailor a have reiterated everything I already know or want to know about this situation, and I am certain it would be deleterious to my fragile mental state to find out more. I fully intend to continue collecting the finest, most beautiful, and unusual patterns, and metals i can afford and/or find. Excerpt that they will be secured in a 2,000 pounds or more Browning Gun Safe. It will break my heart every time I have to open it to bring out the knives, but it apparently is the only make sure jesse's legacy remains intact. His last collection of legacy knife was slowly eaten away for pennies on he dollars while trying to stay alive through the cancers that broke me, easily over $200,000.00 of knives sold for pennies in the dollar, plus everything else we owned as well, until, after fighting for twelve hears the military agreed with all the doctors involved and granted me 100% disability AFTER it cost everything we owned,
But I'll make do, we'll get by, we always do, it just harder the closer and closer I grow nearer to dying, Thank you for your concern, it's people like you and Sailor that make this constant battle with never-ending pain and agony worthwhile (and, of course, my undying love for my Warrior Woman and our son).
In my heart of hearts I already know whom it was. ill never again speak to him, acknowledge his presence.respond to him in anyway, and he has enough knowledge of o background that it will sooner or later he will realize that any number of 2k to 4k layer damascus steel or any number of large bowies amongst my collection would easily part his head from his body and that had tis happened in the Philippines his rotten, and rotting, body would never have ever been seen again.
Thanks for thinking of me, Dan. It means a great deal to me. Your friend always, Bill.
Bill;
I have made a small study of Japanese blades, which I have been told some of which even surpass the quality that was produced by Damascus.
What is your knowledge of the Katana?
DanD
Just got back online and read your post.
Words will not suffice. I send you much white light.
Dan, we'll discuss damascus, it's creation, it's loss for almost a thousand years, and how an accidental introduction of impurities like nickel, vanadium into high carbon steels like tool steels today 1045, 1060, 1090, the AUS and other steels and how most damascus, especially new Japanese is not true damascus but the same steel simply folded and folded over and over again and isn't the true mix of soft steels, for flexibility, and the hard steels that helped various races conquer the world, as everyone knew that,"…if your sword be a true damascus you can cleave your enemy in half despite his armor." But let's please leave that for another day, I wanted to say thanks to you all today for your sympathies, good will, and the sending of much white light.
Thank you all, especially Vidiot. Even very rare knives ever see the inside of a pawn shop (Questions, proof of ownership required), finding a 'thing' which remains static or not is beyond even my considerable powers of investigation. My family and I all know who did it, and no one in the kids family has seen hide nor hair of him since that day. I hope the junkie he tried to buy drugs from with those knives decided it was easier to just say, "Nice knives' and plunge one into his heart, ridding the earth of yet another scumbag thief.
As for me, I came very close to dying from several hundred milligrams of morphine, clonazapam, diazepam, and all the other drugs I took (and I've accumulated quite a pharmacy through the years), not because I sought to end my life, I still believe fervently life is more valuable than mere objects, but I also believe a scuzzbag, a person that grew up with my son, spent days, weeks with us, whom I never allowed to leave my door hungry, violated my trust and ripped me off for a pretty set of knives which required me a long time saving and lusting after them. I had them a total of less than one day. That's not the reason for the drug binge, but because I know that not even anyone in his family has seen him since, I drugged myself to try and fight the hurt, the violation of trust, ease the pain, the stealing from me, someone who had never been anything but good and kind.
HIM I could find, but it's not something I can do. When I discovered I had an amazing ability to locate anyone I swore an oath I would never turn my considerable powers against people I knew. Too many time I had bags or suitcases of money to locate certain people, but I knew those people would meet a very ugly end, even though I could have owned an estate in the Bahamas by the time I was thirty, having had to kill men in war I decided I could never again do that, That pain lasts forever, whatever anyone says, and I know that if I hadn't pharmaceutically immobilized myself I would have found that kid and killed him with my bare hands, without compunction or sorrow. He severely damaged my trust, love, and faith that people from poor circumstances can be helped to overcome them.
My precious Warrior Woman physically dragged me to my VA therapist, who freaked at my condition (she's been seeing me for over eight years and knows me well), and she (the therapist) told me a bad mistake had been made on my prescription and I was taking four times normal the recommended
dosages of a couple of them, reset amounts, and I'm going back Friday, thanks to Mila and the fact that I was a child of the sixties who grew up in the Summer of Love, a time when I lived on drugs, I might not have made.
I pray to never see this kid again. They'd never find the body, but I would know.
I would know.
Thanks, guys, especially for the white light that will help heal me. My posts my be sparse for awhile while my spirit heals, but you know (or should know) that I love all of ya.
Bill
We know, Bill. Having you in our lives will always be more important than having you posting.
Thank you. On top of every thing else, and kinda pushing aside any other issues, is a small black spot in my upper left lung. I know everyone has heard the horror stories of 30 year smokers quitting and then contracting lung cancer and dying soon thereafter. I know it's silly, or will be considered silly by those that haven't suffered the ravaging, savaging, or their body and living in severe chronic pain while losing teeth from a necrotic (dead) jawbone can worry, but some of us do fall within those parameters.
OOH! OOH! I can think of one!. At this stage it's 'watch for any enlargement or change of character and, if there is any, this time there won't be needle biopsies like the ones that stalled the removal of my previous cancers, THIS time they will cut that sucker out if I have to make the first incision myself.
I'm, hoping all that white light fries that sucker for good.
DanD, forgive me but you sound like a college professor standing stroking while you put a student, me, on the grill asking,"What do you know about katanas, a subject that has been around for a thousand years or so ago. It's like asking me what I know about sand.
My concern with katanas is this: I own twelve of them, split almost evenly (I think I have one less damascus than the tool steel blades (1045,1050, a couple of 1090s, in fact I have one of those sets of three one see al over the place. Each of the working blades, especially the black trio of 1090 swords I took off display, as I had spent almost twenty minutes sharpening them (I measure sharpening in time, remember I've been at it since i was seven) and despite my pleas not to touch the blade, every person who handled them cut themselves, not serious. I have a black Noduchi katana (for the blind) that I have roughly 8 minutes into and I am therefor afraid to display. the other damascus blades all have about 8 to 15 minute sharpening time and will continuously shave smaller than matchsticks strips rom a piece on notebook paper until the paper appears to have been run thru a micro-shredder. I use many tools for sharpening, Arkansas soft stone, diamond brick styles, many different diamond steels of both oval and circular styles, ceramic steels of both the oval and round, diamond V sticks (very handy for babying an edge by with special care, butcher's steels, necromancy, prestidigitation, meditation, and don't even touch a blade unless I'm in a proper frame of mind enough to steady yo hands so as not to leave the slightest blemish of the blade. Oh! My water stone (1000/6000 grit) would never forgive me if I forgor to mention it.
BTW, although a samurai (with a master) or a ronin (Who had failed is master and thus doomed to ride alone unless accepted by a new master of committed seppeku) and that although they fought their battles with katanas it was
(hit wrong key, sorry) katans, they primarily used the middle length sword, the wakizaszi sword was the sword used to behead the defeated and' or wounded.
Beyond that, I got nothing else to say DanD, you had no way of knowing what an inadvertent invasion you made into what shreds hold to me tightly and privately. I took no offense from your question.
Please forgive the poor spelling and grammar, guys. I am having a great deal of trouble just holding my eyelids up and I can't find the toothpicks.
Mental degeneration may be a small part of the problem.
Well Bill;
I spent about two-and-a-half years at Kadina in Okinawa (I got there about six months before they switched back to the Japanese side of the road ... fun) and was always fascinated by the culture ever since I understood what being a "Ni-dan" in Judo encompassed (my father was one, and also UK champion in all weight classes back in '59, sic).
Most of what I learned about Japanese steel has come from books, though I do know a woman (who was one of the earlier Disney animators) who had a friend named Yusako Watanabe. He was one of those (somewhat) lost warriors on some Pacific island who thought the war was still going on for several years after it ended.
After being brought back in, he made it to LA, also as an animator. He used to go around the local pawn shops in the Southland area and buy up the Japanese steel that had been brought back over the Pacific pond by "war-victorious" GIs.
The way I understand it, the more famous Japanese sword-makers were producing steel that was at least as hard and durable as anything called Damascus. Over several centuries, these sword-producing families had learned how to apply "impurities (other more exotic metals)" to their iron for both hardness and flexibility.
As it is, it sounds like you probably know alot more about it than I do.
DanD
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