BREAKING NEWS!: MARS MOUNTS DEADLY ATTACK AGAINST EARLY VOTE…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 2:41 PM Permalink

…IN IRAQ! WHY DIDN'T ANYONE SEE THIS COMING? How, oh, how! could the government not see this coming? How is it they could allow Mars to put the shoe on the other hand? Or the glove on the other foot, however that old saw goes (not the movies Saw 1-through 36, I like those). I mean, couldn't NORAD, Soreass, Badass, Hadanass, Lostmyass, whichever, see these little green bastards coming? This was obviously caused by turning all our powerful satellites to Ft Lauderdale and Miami beaches and watching the arses of beaches other than those our satellites were meant to watch (Or were they, BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Harumph, eh, ugh,cough, ahehahehaheh, quistinining, blah, puke! I'm just not the best evil laugher on the web. I think both Sailor and the Vidiot are much better,but THEY aren't in this post! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Harumph, eh,ugh, cough, ahehahehaheh, quistinining, blah, puke! whew! That's better, like the old cheer,"Regurgitate, regurgitate, throw up all the food you ate, v-o-m-i-t, BLAH!)

I believe they were not fired upon by all those secret lasers, atomic nuclear weapons, and the super secret stuff even they don't know about because they cut a deal with those mysterious 'powers that be' to take Wobbly Bunny from Kainfucky back with them and remove the largest boil ever on this planet's arse! But why? Wobbly is only trying to do the ethical things he should have started doing when he was first elected by a wildly hugh margin of 51% to 49% against the foolish ne'er do well that never played a game of baseball in his life! Like gwb who won with 51%, anyone can tell you that's a massive ratification of your mediocracy and a mandate from the people living in some of the most poisonous and toxic lands, not just in the state, but all the lands of America!

WE CANNOT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN! Earth NEEDS boils like Bunny on its arse!

Here's the headline, directly off the front pages of the NYT:

Deadly Attacks Mar Early Voting in Iraqi Elections

Uh, I hate to do this in the middle of a post, but my mail lady is here and I gotta get the dogs, "Back! Back you Hounds from Hell! Mattereth it not you were born of Massachusetts ancestry! Back I say or it will be two squirts from the fiery liquid of wet from this enchanted spray bottle Back, I say, nay, I COMMAND THEE! (Short soliloquy with my VERY NICE [in case she reads blogs. Bill] post lady who, much like my Warrior Woman also is, by happenstance, filipina and very short, of stature but not lacking of good nature, as she handed me the latest knife from hell I intend to build in case of more Martian invasions of earth's arse.) (And, forsooth, in truth, she doth like my Hounds from Hell! And they her, though whether their bright shining eyes [even in the dark] indicate good will or good appetite, I have not fully discerned the answer.) Again, Back you seething, boiling over with either good will or bad you Hounds from Hell I am scribing in my role as a scribe and must put a halt to this endless good fun you have, ssssssssssstttteeeeeppppppping on my keyboard and giving me maniacal tongue lashings!

Anyway - back you demon hound! - as can plainly be seen, an attack by Mars could not come at a worse time for Iraq, What? What sayeth thou my offspring? Are you off your springs? Any fool can plainly see that the headline says…uh…oh…had to ruin it for me didn't you? And if you think you can pull a coup by beheading me in my sleep, just think how I would haunt you, with my Hounds from Hell, for all eternity and beyond that, too!

In the meantime, as the funniest woman who ever graced this earth with her presence, her talent, her riotous good humor, her inner beauty, and the inimitable she without peer Gilda Radner, would say:

Never mind.

Labels: cheney secrecy, christian hypocrisy, cia dirty tricks, I'm only just one man., Mars Attacks