Wednesday, July 07, 2010


posted by Bill Arnett @ 3:16 PM Permalink

DATELINE: SOMEWHERE IN THE GULF OF MEXICO: Sadly it must be reported that tragedy has stricken the Vidiot's Trade Delegation as she must now face the loss of two vehicles full of delegates due to disabling flat tires on their way across the oil-blanketed Gulf of Mexico.

The expedition to Cuba and Mexico, by the Gulf States of America, which has seceded from the union of the United States of America was undertaken in order to establish separate trade and relations treaties to be negotiated between the three nations.

It seems that no one had anticipated that the mile-deep "oil-floor" over which the delegation must travel would also be covered with debris brought to the surface by the currents of the extremely thick sludge, especially all the nail-filled boards of ships past that had sunk in the Gulf. Two lead vehicles had already hit the boards, blowing out all four tires on each vehicle, before the rest of the expedition could execute the "full-stop maneuver" the teams had practiced extensively as even though the surface was firm enough it is, after all, oil and very much like driving on ice.

Fortunately no was injured, the sole casualties being the loss of two Land Rovers which, by bad luck, had struck and run over the nail-filled board in question. After much debate between the Vidiot and Dr. Vidiot (She: "I TOLD you to check the damn map!" and he, "I'm telling you that you could check every damned map in existence and you would have not found that damn board's position marked!") it was decided to load as many of the delegates as possible on the other vehicles and leave behind a small group of guides and general laborers to safeguard the two Land Rovers until a Hercules C-130E aircraft could locate the stranded part of the party, land, and bring the personnel and vehicles safely home.

Meanwhile the Vidiot and Dr Vidiot continued on this, the very first expedition ever across the Gulf of Mexico by land vehicles.

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