Friday, May 08, 2009

President vows to convert the USS Enterprise for space exploration…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 2:27 PM Permalink

…and swears he can do so before the Iraq-Afghanistan Wars are over and the current financial crisis has been fully dealt with.

This change of policy was based solely on the review of the new "Star Trek" by my fellow writer, the Vidiot, immediately below this post. I am not at liberty to reveal my source of this information relayed to me by the Official White House Projector Operator, who has been on the government payroll for years, but was unused by the bush-cheney maladministration that was well known for their lack of humor and imagination (and intelligence).

After reading the review of the Vidiot President Obama was heard to exclaim, "Damn! We have GOT to get a starship before the Russians or Chinese do! And thanks to American filmmakers we now have a template to follow!"

Conversion of the USS Enterprise for use in space, daring to go where no man has gone before, exploring unknown planets, learning of hitherto unknown civilizations, and civilizations to be known hitherto will begin as soon as President Obama can find someone named James Tiberius Kirk to appoint as the Commander of Space Exploration.

This has been a public information announcement and is not necessarily the truth or any pretense thereof.

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At 3:19 PM, Blogger The Vidiot said...

All kidding aside, my first thought when I saw the completed Enterprise in the movie was "Shit. WE should be making stuff like that instead of wasting money on wars and banks."

Though, your snark reminded me of "Galaxy Quest" and the aliens who used the shows as "historical records" to create their own space program. And, BTW, they're rereleasing the Galaxy Quest DVD next week to capitalize on the whole Star Trek thing.

At 8:16 PM, Blogger Bill Arnett said...

You are very gracious and have a very kind heart. Thanx!

At 3:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

BA establishes ~

"Conversion of the USS Enterprise for use in space, daring to go where no man has gone before, exploring unknown planets ..."

Oh come on William, get with the "new!" While the current sequal may be pre-Shatner, it is still also post - NG (next generation).

I will leave it to you for correction.


At 5:07 PM, Blogger The Vidiot said...

Nuh-uh. Star Trek Classic is post "enterprise" and pre "next generation"

It goes Archer, Kirk, Picard and Janeway (Or Janeway and Picard. I'm not sure).

And, technically, after this prequel, there is some doubt as to whether there would be a Picard and Janeway, only because the time line has been altered. Maybe Jean Luc never gets born! which would be shame. Though, I could do without Wesley.

I am dork, hear me roar.

At 6:52 PM, Blogger The Sailor said...

I was OK with Wesley.

I thought Will's story arcs were helpful to see the ST franchise from a kids point of view. But then I give more leeway to kids than adults.

I prefer to think of Janeway & Picard on separate missions. (Suspension of disbelief beats cognitive dissonance any day;-)

DS9 anyone?

p.s. I think Galaxy Quest is great, seen it several times, but never on the bigh screen. I just have to decide which Ferengi woman I'll take to both movies.

p.p.s. I wish we had an IMAX theatre in the my corner of the galaxy.

p.p.p.s. I think I've out-dorked VS ... but I've never been to a TrekCon. Or wanted to.

At 8:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dork? You want dork? You can't handle dork ! BBBRRrrrrrruppt ... ping!

After that brief intercept from Hitchhiker's Guide, we bring you back to your regularly scheduled chicken-head biter ~

Actually, I was talking about the Hollywood financial timelines of political correctness.



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