President vows to convert the USS Enterprise for space exploration…posted by Bill Arnett @ 2:27 PM Permalink …and swears he can do so before the Iraq-Afghanistan Wars are over and the current financial crisis has been fully dealt with.
This change of policy was based solely on the review of the new "Star Trek" by my fellow writer, the Vidiot, immediately below this post. I am not at liberty to reveal my source of this information relayed to me by the Official White House Projector Operator, who has been on the government payroll for years, but was unused by the bush-cheney maladministration that was well known for their lack of humor and imagination (and intelligence).
After reading the review of the Vidiot President Obama was heard to exclaim, "Damn! We have GOT to get a starship before the Russians or Chinese do! And thanks to American filmmakers we now have a template to follow!"
Conversion of the USS Enterprise for use in space, daring to go where no man has gone before, exploring unknown planets, learning of hitherto unknown civilizations, and civilizations to be known hitherto will begin as soon as President Obama can find someone named James Tiberius Kirk to appoint as the Commander of Space Exploration.
This has been a public information announcement and is not necessarily the truth or any pretense thereof.