Does a second Mea Culpa nullify the first?…
posted by Bill Arnett @ 6:30 PM Permalink …a question that has troubled me greatly lately. I may have my answer.I've been corresponding with my best friend and brother-in-arms and he told me we had missed a blogiversary here, something I did not know and had not even considered in the midst of my recent, very well-known (to our readers), utter and complete blowout in my mind, the worst in at least five years and one well-documented dementia falling four-square within the very definition (dementia - dementia |diˈmen sh ə| noun Medicine | a chronic or persistent disorder of the mental processes caused by brain disease or injury and marked by memory disorders, personality changes, and impaired reasoning); it ain't no picnic and there's nothing but ever greater and rising higher pain when it finally clobbers me every few years.
It dawned on me, as I slowly began to recover, just how bad this episode was, and the people who mean the most to me, those I respect most highly, managed, with very sparse but meaningful messages helped me ground myself again and, with my brother from a another mother, Sailor, telling me we had missed a blogiverary it was the last little reminder of my humanity, or lack thereof, that brought to my attention that this break and the kind words of DanD and the wonderful people with whom I write convinced me that I should again start doing that which brings me happiness and that warm, fuzzy feeling, and that would be, of course, writing for you all, the most cathartic activity I know.
So, having demonstrated beyond doubt that I sometimes go full-goose Bozo and explode, out-of-control, it's time to show that the years of therapy, psychiatrists, the tons of medications I consume, and the love of my family and friends to give me hope that someday I will no longer experience these breakdowns - it's highly unlikely, but clearly possible - so hang with me if you dare and join me on this maniacal roller coaster as it rockets me through the twists and turns of my damaged mind at a dizzyingly frantic, white-knuckled-hold-on-for-your-life, furious pace with no one at the brakes.
So HAPPY BLOGIVERSARY (Sailor or the Vidiot will need to say what number it is) and thank you.
Ciao for now, bella ámi.
Labels: mental competency, mental health, personal commentary
11 Comments:
I'm sorry I missed it too. Too much going on here. My life is a little, well, out of control right now.
(Isn't amazing how one can descend into a private little bubble and be so utterly clueless about what's going on around them?)
Happy blogversersary fellas. Couldn't have lasted this long without either one of you.
xoxo
Hey Bill;
I'd certainly be more than willing to join you on that ride, but only if you share ALL your drugs ... well, most probably even if you didn't.
DanD
At our age I think it is appropriate to just put 29 candles on the cake.
As if you didn't already have enough stuff to worry about, moving in such insane weather and all. I'm very happy you made it safely, I hope Dr. Vidiot enjoys the new job, I'm bettin' you will find work in no time, Teen Vidiot will discover all those beautiful Mid-Western girls, and life, as it always does, will soon turn to more sanguine pursuits.
Hell, we're practically neighbors now. Let me know if the movies or music gets too loud.
Now, now Dan. Everybody knows I never do drugs unless I'm alone or with somebody; it's a tough moral code by which to live, but, hey, gotta draw the line somewhere;)
Nice to hear from you again.
We get cake? Oh, boy! CAKE I love cake where's the cake I don't smell candles burning and everybody knose a cake just isn't a cake without candles and icing it's gotta have icing too where is the damn cake didn't someone say there was cake? Cake, cake, here cake! Aw, shit. I'll have to remember to ask Sailor what the deal is with this cake stuff. Again.
Bill, I hate to tell you this, but the dogs ate your cake.
Look at them, they all deny it but you can just see the guilty looks on their faces. And the wax lips.
And touches of icing in a ring around their snouts! Damn! How could I have missed it?
Thanks, Bro
H-e-e-r-r-e-e doggy, doggies! H-e-e-r-r-e-e-e, doggy, doggies!
Hey Bill ~
Put that adobo-mix down! Don't be goin' all Filipino on us now ... .
DanD
Neither I nor my Warrior Woman have ever eaten dog - and I would pity the fool who even joked otherwise!
Well Bill;
Once, when I was stationed in Okinawa at Kadena Air Base (circa, 1978), I used to have some Filipino friends (musicians who lived in a decrepit house and worked the base clubs) a few miles outside the airbase. Now, whenever I'd go there to visit my favorite female vocalist (lovely singing throat), I'd usually bring some booze from the BX.
One time when I arrived, after having delivered my usual gift, as occasionally happened, a couple of the bandmember Flip-tarts came over to me and brought a plate of food. I graciously took it from them and proceeded to chow down. It tasted kinda like adobo pork ... in a way. In that I was also sucking down my third shot of JWR, well hell, it was food.
I should have known that something was a bit amiss, as both these subversives sat right across from me while I was eating. I would look up at them and one would smile and ask, "Ies eet Guud?"
I'd answer, "Hey, great!"
Then the other would chime in, "Duu eyu lyke iit?" and I would respond; "Finest kind!"
I didn't find out until a couple of hours later what happened to the little "Shoji" dog that had been abandoned by a repatriating band-mate.
In all honesty, he didn't really taste all that bad.
(I had learned from my father while in Germany how to perceive "food" in a survival setting.)
DanD
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