11,322nd Top al-Qaede Leader In Iraq Captured

posted by Bill Arnett @ 10:36 AM Permalink

From The Huffington Post:

The U.S. command said Wednesday the highest-ranking Iraqi in the leadership of al-Qaida in Iraq has been arrested, adding that information from him indicates the group's foreign-based leadership wields considerable influence over the Iraqi chapter.

Khaled Abdul-Fattah Dawoud Mahmoud al-Mashhadani, also known as Abu Shahid, was captured in Mosul on July 4, said Brig. Gen. Kevin Bergner, a military spokesman.

"Al-Mashhadani is believed to be the most senior Iraqi in the al-Qaida in Iraq network," Bergner said. He said al-Mashhadani was a close associate of Abu Ayub al-Masri, the Egyptian-born head of al-Qaida in Iraq.

Bergner said al-Mashhadani served as an intermediary between al-Masri and Osama bin Laden and al-Qaida No. 2 Ayman al-Zawahri.

So, yet another top al-Qaida [sic] leader has been arrested.

What isn't reported is that Abu Sahid gave himself up out of sheer boredom after watching a presidential press briefing by bush. He had also exhausted himself playing solitaire, poker, pinochle, and checkers, the hobbies he had taken up while playing hide-and-seek with American Forces, knowing that sooner or later someone would look up "al-Qaede in Iraq" in the Farsi version of the AT&T Real Yellow Pages and obtain his address and phone number.

"By Allah, I cannot explain the reason it took so long to find me," he said, "Besides being listed in the phone directory, all of us al-Qaede leaders sponsor a parade every Sunday, with a picnic afterwards on the other side of the fifteen foot wall surrounding the Green Zone. There we sit and laugh and laugh and laugh at all the foreign devils who cannot find us. Then we throw our trash over the wall and skip away laughing like little children. Thank Allah as well that the Americans finally saw the 50' x 30' al-Qaede flag we hoist up on the roof of our headquarters everyday or I might still be on the run."

Labels: military, snark, War On Terror