Monday, January 14, 2008

The Existential Bubble Threat To America

posted by Bill Arnett @ 11:50 AM Permalink

From The Huffington Post comes the news of the latest existential threat to America. (I have decided that every threat to America is an "existential" threat given bushco's tendency to elevate every threat to the existential level, something so dire that our very existence on Earth is challenged, something that will end life as we know it, destroy democracy, blow up large sections of the planet and leave a smoking ember circling lifelessly around the sun. After all, when unarmed speeding boats in international waters gives bush the vapors and terrifies our Navy to the point of publishing propaganda about the extreme new danger speeding boats that are unarmed poses to our men and women at sea, well, every problem confronting America must necessarily spell gloom and doom and the end of us all. My god, just imagine if those Iranian speedboats had been towing armed water skiers! I will, however, try to keep things light and upbeat even though we're all gonna die a horrible death.):
What makes bubbles so dangerous is that their consequences, when they burst, are wider, often more damaging, and certainly more unpredictable than those of ordinary downturns.

"We are more prone to bubbles than we used to be," said John H. Makin, a former senior Treasury official with several Republican administrations and now a scholar with the conservative American Enterprise Institute in Washington.

"The old-fashioned recession, where the consumer ran out of gas or there was an economic policy mistake, doesn't seem to occur much anymore," said Alice M. Rivlin, a former vice chair of the Federal Reserve and Clinton administration budget director. "As we've seen from recent events, bubbles seem to be playing a bigger role."
Of course, this discussion doesn't involve Bubbles the Stripper of Las Vegas fame, whom, though I cannot be certain, doesn't seem to pose an existential threat to the country, but is someone about whom I have e-mailed the White House for clarification.

No, no, THIS existential threat refers to the financial existential threat America faces during the Coming of the Second Great Bust (again, this has nothing to do with Bubbles the Stripper) and Stock Market Crash that will leave all our citizens battling one another for the very few crops that we won't be able to afford to plant, fertilize (this shouldn't be too hard during the remainder of the bush maladministration) or water because the Drought Bubble will not be beneficial when it bursts because it's only filled with dust.

The Housing Bubble is starting to degrade to the point of actual danger, millions homeless or having their homes taken away through foreclosure. This, naturally, causes the Homeless Bubble to keep expanding exponentially, a serious existential threat if I ever heard one.

The Medical Crisis Bubble and the Social Security Bubble will soon explode when the 3.2 trillion million baby boomers simultaneously retire. The horror of elderly, senior, old, wrinkled and decrepit people suddenly being blown off the planet to float away in space, the Final Bubble, won't be a pretty sight.

The Deficit Bubble threatening to pop soon is obviously an existential threat to America, but not as long as we can keep blowing up the Borrowing Bubble larger than it is now. The Chinese are reaping the benefits of that bubble, as they know the Pacific Ocean will be able to absorb what's left after the bubble bursts.

And there are the Long Eternal Forever Ongoing War against Terror Bubble and the Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid Bubble that, even though they seem hugh and certain to be an existential threat, look like they have a long way to go before becoming an existential threat of immediate import. Like, say, next Saturday.

And, lastly, there is the Greenspan Bubble that actually drives the growth of all the bubbles since he left his job as Primary Bubble Blower, where he single-handedly inflated all subsequent bubbles. Mr. Greenspan is currently residing in an unknown location in an unidentified country on an unknown continent where his only means of communication are bubbles he floats out now and then.

Remember: "What makes bubbles so dangerous is that their consequences, when they burst, are wider, often more damaging, and certainly more unpredictable than those of ordinary downturns."

Where will YOU be when all these bubbles burst? Me, I'm gonna shoot for front row center watching Bubbles the Stripper.

Labels: , , , , , ,


At 2:08 PM, Blogger The Vidiot said...

"I"m forever blowing bubbles...."
sang the White House Souse, as he skipped through the oval office, bottle of Jack in one hand and Dick Gregory's ass in the other.

At 3:42 PM, Blogger Bill Arnett said...

You kill me…


Post a Comment

<< Home