Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Headline: Gun sales, in red and blue states, up since election…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 11:36 AM Permalink

…darned tootin'!

Why the very first thing I did the day after the election was to go down to my local gun dealer, you know, one of those that will sell anything to anybody if you have the money and stand taller than that the clown next to the counter with height lines on it (you must be at least four feet tall to make a purchase).

I planned my shopping carefully, first settling for a .22 caliber rifle with a 10 power scope for the close in shooting; highly accurate and will knock down your target without going through five more house afterwards.

I picked up a .30 caliber Winchester rifle ("The rifle that has killed more deer than any other weapon" according to Winchester, so I am now well prepared for an invasion of deer) with a 10-12 power variable scope for my medium range work. For further medium range I grabbed an 870 Wingmaster shotgun and several boxes of 3" magnum rounds of number 4 buck for ammo. Lotsa people prefer double ought rounds, but they only fire eight .30 caliber lead pellets per shell as versus forty-four .22 caliber pellets in the number four round.

For intermediate work I favor a good 30.06 with a 10-20 power variable scope firing 165 grain hollow points. For further out I like a Weatherby .474 magnum rifle suitable for hunting elephants (although we haven't many elephants in my neighborhood) and, ultimately a Browning M107 50 caliber sniper rifle for the long distance stuff (in case you do see an elephant two counties over).

And, lastly, for the ultimate in home defense my gun dealer, for the low, low price of 1.1 million dollars, sold me a 155mm Howitzer cannon I've concealed in the backyard. The only drawback, or course, is that once fired at intruders in your home, your home is vaporized along with the intruders. And a little over half of the neighborhood.

Oh, well. You can't have everything, even if you are scared of the big bad boogeyman Democrats coming to seize your guns.

After all, with our country going bankrupt, businesses failing, trade and budget deficits our great-, great-, great-grandchildren will still be paying endlessly, obviously the first thing on President Elect Obama's mind will be coming to your door personally to confiscate all your weapons.

But that's just my opinion and I could be wrong. So shoot me.

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At 12:05 AM, Blogger The Sailor said...

Personally? I'd go with the 106mm recoilless rifle. It mounts on any handy SUV and it's hard to beat that .50 cal WP spotting round for lighting up them 'that one' folks.

At 11:24 AM, Blogger Bill Arnett said...

Good for huntin' bar in Alaska - from your home in the midwest.

I mean, really, what does any "sportsman" need a mini-cannon like those 50 and up caliber guns?


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