(Pssst! The republicans are having a meeting…)

posted by Bill Arnett @ 9:12 AM Permalink

…chaired by Florida Governor Charlie Christ (wasn't he one of the first to totally bail on McCane and Palin?) addressing party unity, try to figure out what went wrong last election, whether the republicans were too conservative or moderate, and whether Palin will be their candidate in 2012 as 64% of the party desires right now.

Listen up republicans and I can save you the expense and trouble of having that meeting.

One-with the fanatic religious right, whose piety is matched only by the Taliban, there will never be anyone you can find that is radical enough to run for the presidency short of importing religious fanatics who couldn't run anyway. Immigration and citizenship problems, dontchaknow.

Two-Your party didn't lose because it was neither to conservative nor moderate. You lost because you're @ssholes that betrayed this country with your to obstructionist ways in Congress and your famous "yoyo" policy of governing (You're On Your Own) and because your Reaganite "trickle down theories of economics" of enriching the already rich while ignoring or actively fighting against doing anything good for less well off America and Americans has forever been demonstrated to be a seriously flawed system of government and an abjectly total failure. People notice stuff like that, y'know.

Third: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, I beg you from bended knee to run Palin for president in 2012. It will make it s-o-o-o much easier for us Democrats to expand our base and become the majority party for decades to come. By 2012 Barack Obama will have four years of running the country under his belt while Sawah won't have anything more than a few more moose hides with which she can make beautiful wall displays, rugs, and funny hats.

So these are my totally free and unsolicited answers to the questions you want asked and answered, so you might as well save a boatload of money you'll need in 2012.

Of course, small gratuities of six figures or more will be gratefully accepted.

Labels: Barack Obama, Conservatives, GOP, republican party, requiem, snark, Taliban