A-ha, a-ha, a-ha, cough, hack, spit, clear my eyes, close my ears to the absolute wretchedly insane garbage…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 1:36 PM Permalink

…being spouted by the teabagging gop!

"Ma! Ma! We won, we won, we won! Oh, golly, Ma, isn't this exciting!"

"Well, my goodness, here, sit on Mama's knee and tell me all about it."

"We really did it, Ma! We wiped out the Democratic majority in House!"

"But, child, don't you know that the House of Representatives has been rendered moot for years now to our democracy from teabagging gop-ers 'just say no to anything' policies? The House is no longer even a vital part of our government thanks to teabagging gop-ers now and in the past?"

"B-b-but, Ma, we won some seats in the Senate, too!"

"No need to get so defensive, son, tell me about all the exciting wins in the Senate and thrill me with news that we, the teabagging gop-ers, now have a veto-proof majority in the Senate. Oh, how Momma would love to hear that! Son, why has your face grown so long and sad? Tell Mamma."

Sobbing, "But, Ma-a-a-a, we didn't win even a simple majority in the Senate!"

"Well, good gracious, where the hell is all this irrational hubris coming from then, Son? Have you been drinking, snorting, and doing bong hits again? You tell me everything's all sunshine and blue skies for we teabagging gop-ers all the while being perfectly well aware that NOTHING SUBSTANTIVE was gained? It's time for a trip to the woodshed for you young man! Go cut a switch for me to beat you with, and you had best make it a thick one!"

Now openly wailing, "B-b-but, Mamma, it's what is being reported on the Fox TV…"

Mom snatches him by the ear, "Fox News! Fox News! Didn't I warn you that your I.Q. would drop 60 points watching Fox News? C'mon, I'll pick the switch myself, wasting my time when absolutely nothing of any consequence has happened! We've got a gridlocked House, a dysfunctional Senate, and apparently the only person in government who cares is still that Obama fella! NOW, HIE THEE TO THE WOODSHED!"

Labels: elections