EXCITING NEW EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 6:31 PM Permalink

…if you can:

Knowingly lie without compunction
Shameless repeat those lies ad nauseam with your hand upon a Bible
Ignore every tenant of Christianity you every swore to uphold
Demand control of women's bodies and force childbirth upon them even in cases of rape or incest
Swear to encourage genocide to any race that is non-Caucasian
Make radical, stupid, nonsensical accusations of racism and bigotry when it is clear you are the racist bigot
Sit on your ass and do NOTHING AT ALL to serve the constituents who elected you
Collect a high paid salary, great medical, vacation, and retirement benefits while DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but sucking at the public trough
If you can sit on your fat ass and do nothing but obscure the truth, advance endless self-serving agendas
Obstruct and block every piece of legislation that is good for America while advancing every piece of legislation bad for America
If you can collect all your wonderful benefits while denying relief to the sick, elderly, and infirm
If you can step right over one of the 125,000 homeless veterans while getting into your government paid limousines
If you can not only tolerate but encourage spying upon your fellow citizens, tapping their phones, monitoring their computers, and listening to their private phone calls
If you can help spend more money than anyone else in the history of man, running up record deficits
Expand government more than any political party in history
Borrow more money from foreign sources and devaluate the dollar and the stock markets more than any other party in existence
If you can easily pay lip service to the tenants of Christianity while utterly ignoring its intent and make no effort whatever to follow your Gods example
If you can go on every MSM outlet extant and repeat the lying talking points written by the most hateful, despicable people who ever walked the earth
If you believe it is quite alright to torture, maim, and hold children in prison that have not been shown to have done anything wrong
If you can give long-winded speeches on family values and fealty to marriage while having homosexual affairs and affairs with prostitutes and/or members of your staff, both male and female
If you have ceremonially "married" your daughter, leading her to believe it's "OK" if Daddy touches her (Honey Moon time!)
If you are a closet homosexual railing against your inner self and living in secret shame
If you can be black or Hispanic in a party that despises blacks and Hispanics

I HAVE SOME FABULOUS NEWS FOR YOU!

YOU, TOO, CAN BECOME A HIGHLY PAID, DO-NOTHING BUT OBSTRUCT AND SAY NO CONGRESSMAN OR SENATOR IN THE REPUBLICAN (ass-sucking fealty test required) AND/OR TEA BAGGER PARTIES (separate initiation ceremony required to prove your tea-bagging skills, showing that you can suck in both testicles simultaneously.)

Labels: bad politicians, big brother, bigotry run amok, christian hypocrisy, corruption, Crime, destroyers of dreams, genocide, GOP, gutless cowards