Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Day Seven and the last of my endeavor to relieve…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 1:42 PM Permalink

…the Texas School Board of having to rewrite the Bible. They are far too busy rewriting American History to delete Thomas Jefferson, the primary writer of the Declaration of Independence and one of several writers of our U.S. Constitution, so that they can hide from the little chirrun' the truth of the founding of America.

My story picks up at the beginning of the beginning of Day Seven:

When God awakened on Day Seven He was shocked to find another Apparition, almost Equally Strong as God Himself, sitting Calmly and Partaking of the Lord's Pipe and Smoking His Pot as Casually as if it belonged to him instead of God. Curiously curious as to Who or What this New Apparition was the Lord did not immediately Grow Angry at this Trespass and merely Inquired, "And Who might You Be and What makes You Believe You May freely Partake of My Pot?"

In a comparably Neutral Voice as the Lord's had been when making His Inquiry the Apparition, now taking a More Solid Appearance with Horns on his Forehead, a Forked Tongue, and a Whip-like Tail trailing behind Him, His Complexion becoming Red in Appearance did reply, "Please allow Me to Introduce Myself, I'm a Man of Wealth and Taste…" and Before He Could continue God was Rolling Around in Space Laughing so Very Hard that Tears did Come to Be in His Eyes as He Said, "Aw, C'mon! Who do you think You are Fooling with an Opening Introduction that Pompous?"

Apparently taking no Umbrage at the Lord's Laughter the New Guy did Begin to Laugh with the Lord, saying, "Well, hey, You can't Blame a Guy for Trying!" and then He did Pass the Lit Pipe to the Lord and Continued, "I am the Natural Consequence of Having Cast Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden. I am the Evil One, Counterpart to Thyself, and I am to be Called the Devil."

By now, thoroughly Stoned, God did Pass the Pipe back to the Devil, Still Laughing as he asked, "The Evil One? The Devil? Surely Thou Doth Jest and are merely taking Advantage of My Good Mood and Great High to pull My Leg, in good Humor, of course." The devil did take a Mighty Hit of Pot from the Pipe and told God, "No, Really, I am not Kidding. When you cast Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden You did Cause the Creation of Me, the Devil, Beelzebub to be More Informal, but I am here to do Mighty Battle with You for the Souls of Man, to Boldly go where No Evil has ever Gone Before, To Seek Out New Life and…"

"And Yada, Yada, Yada," laughed God as the Devil did Pass the Pipe back to Him. "And What is It that makes You believe that I will not just… Smite You?…Smote you?… oh, Hell, why wouldn't I just Blow You Up?"

"Hell. Hell. Yeah, That's the Ticket, I shall call my domain Hell and fill it Up with Such Evil and Naked Women in Bondage that One Day there will be a Political Party that will find Me Impossible to Resist! And, Lo, they Shall be Called Republicans! Yeah! W-h-o-o-o-o-e-e-e! Son of a Gun We'll have Big Fun on the Bayou! Oh, Please Pardon my Ramblings as You did Make unto Me an Inquiry as to why shouldn't You just Blow Me Up and Destroy Me and You Deserve an Answer to your Query. I Regret to inform you that after Exerting so much Effort to Create a World and fill it with Plants, Fishes, Small and Large Land Animals, and Destroying all the Dinosaurs and Distributing the Bones all over the Planet, You now Lack Sufficient Strength to 'Just Blow Me Up.' Go ahead, give it a try."

And God did Gather All the Power He could Summon, the Very Power with which He had Created the Universe and Earth, All the Power of the Trillions of Suns and Black Holes He had Created Just for Mischief, and He did Let Loose a Beam of Power Such as Has Been Seen never Before or Afterwards and Did Squarely Strike the Devil right in the Center of his Being, and Such was the Power of Such A Mighty Blast that It did Knock the Devil on His Ass and Blew Him a Million Millions of Miles into Space.

And It was Good, for Although God was Greatly tired by the Effort He did Pick Up His Pipe and Lo! There was the Devil, Who was Polite enough to Draw the Fire for God to Light His Pipe.
God could See that His Adversary was indeed too Strong for God to Merely Blow Him Up, so as he drew a Hit from his Mighty Pipe he Did Remark, "Thanks for the Lighting of my Pipe. I See now that Thou Did Spaketh the Truth when You Claimed Power So Great as to keep Me from Blowing you Up." And He handed the Pipe back to the Devil, saying, "Perhaps You are Correct and It is Only because I have Expended So Much of My Power in Creating Everything, to Include You, too, I Guess, so I have a Proposal to make unto you: Let Us Agree that this, the Seventh Day, and Every Seventh Day Hereafter We do call a Truce and Spend the Day at Leisure, Smoking my Pipe, Getting High, and, Perhaps, even sharing a Good Laugh occasionally?"

And even the Devil Himself saw that this was a Good Deal, as Although God's Mighty Bolt had not been Powerful enough to Destroy Him, it had sure Hurt Like Hell, so, chuckling at his turn of the Phrase Hurt like Hell, He Said, "That's Cool with me. You got anymore of this Great Pot?"

"Yea and Verily It is So, I have Plenty of Pot, and now that We have Declared The Seventh Day, let's Call It the Sabbath, a day of Truce and Rest, Let Us Kick Back and Enjoy another Pipe."

And So Endeth Day Seven, the Sabbath, and So Ends My Efforts to Rewrite the Bible for the Texas School Board. I know there were many, many other Chapters and stories in the Bible, But as They were Written by Men Such as Me, I consider them Not Worthy of Being Rewritten.

The End.

Ciao, bella āme.

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Monday, March 29, 2010

The Continuing Rewrite of the Bible in Order to Spare…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 3:12 PM Permalink

…the Texas School Board, which is frantically rewriting the history of America to exclude Thomas Jefferson from that history, of the need to rewrite the Bible. As an atheist I am at least as highly qualified to rewrite the Bible as those Texas jerk-offs are to try and rewrite American History and thereby school the little chirrun' to be ignorant of the Truth:

As Day Six dawned God awakened in a very despondent and depressed mood again, something that did cause Him Great Concern as this was the second time He had felt this way in only a few days. He did Vow that he would rid Himself of this feeling and reached for His Pipe and drew from the Sun, with His Mighty Finger, Flame with which to Light His Pipe only to discover that His Pipe was empty. And so God looked down upon his latest Garden of Eden and was Pleased to find the Man, Adam, and his Woman, Eve, were still Hard at work attempting to Procreate. This pleased God, for he did Truthfully desire for them to bring forth Progeny. He did watch for awhile, Greatly Impressed, at the Vigor and seemingly Tireless Efforts of Adam and Eve to Procreate, and it was only when they stopped for short time to refresh themselves by Swimming and Splashing with the Fishes that lived in the Lake He had installed in the Garden of Eden that he remembered that His original Reason for coming Down to Earth was to Replenish His Pipe with some Fresh Buds from the Multi-fingered Leafed Plant that, in his Wisdom, which was infinite, He had decided to call Pot, and Lo, though he searched everywhere in the Garden, from the Highest Mountain to the Shores of the very Lake in which Adam and Eve were again busy Procreating, He could find none of His Highly Regarded Pot. This Vexed Him Greatly, so He used the Power of his Position as God to plant the Biggest, Tallest, and Most Plentiful with Buds the Greatest Pot Plant to Ever Exist, even though He did have to Remove Many Fruited Trees and Plants, including the Apple Tree (as He had named it), and then did He Appear as an Apparition on the Shore of the Lake where Adam and Eve were again resting between attempts to Procreate, and He did Spaketh unto them in a Mighty Voice, "Adam! Eve! Turn thy attention to Me, All Powerful God, Your Creator, and Creator of all that you Do See and Much, Much More that You Have Not Seen and Take Heed of my Words. First, did You two smoke all the Buds from the Multi-finger Leafed Plan that I have Named Pot?"

"Why, yes O Lord, as we did find it to be a powerful Aphrodisiac that helped us with our efforts to Procreate, which is, O Lord the reason we guessed as the reason you did give us Life and this beautiful and Bountiful Garden. You got a problem with that?"

"YES!" Did the Lord God bellow in a Voice so Mighty and Powerful that it did Knock Adam and Eve Backwards and off their feet and Did Flatten many of the Plants and Caused Many of the Fish in the Lake float to the surface of the Lake, knocked Unconscious. The Ferocity of His reply Did Make Adam and Eve tremble in Fear and plead to God.

"O Lord, we did not know that this plant was so Precious unto you, and we did partake of every plant we could find until we could find no more. What need we do now, O Lord, to make Reparations unto you for our Transgression?"

And God responded, "I have Made a New Pot plant in the Grove in which the Apples do grow and you are Forbidden to partake of any Part of that Pot Plant lest You be cast from the Garden of Eden where Life will be Most Difficult to Maintain; where You shall become Ashamed of Your Nakedness; Where Sin shall come upon You in many manners most Foul and as yet Unknown unto You; and where You will no longer find Life to be so easy, Where you will have to Domesticate Animals to help You, and where You shall live a Very Hard Life!"

"O Lord, we do hear you and shall obey, but we must know if there is any other Plant, Animal, or anything of any kind which will incur your wrath should we use it? We must know this O Lord so we do not Piss you Off again."

"No," His Mighty Voice bellowed loudly, "There is Nothing Else about which I Feel So Strongly, so I Shall Not address You Again. Should you break this Covenant you shall be Summarily cast from the Garden of Eden without further Notice. Take Heed!" He did admonish them.

And so, in a manner of speaking, did Life in the Garden resume. Adam and Eve continued their efforts to procreate and did enjoy Partaking freely of the many delicious Fruits and Vegetables and Fish and other small Creatures they would capture and cook over the flames Residual from the Lightening Bolts that occasionally came with a Mighty Rainfall, Keeping the Flames going with dried branches of the many different Trees. It was only a Matter of Time that they found themselves in the Grove of Apples and discovered how very Delicious and Nutritious was the fruit of the Apple Trees. As they did eat their way towards the Center of the Grove of Apples Eve did spy the Mighty, Beautiful, and Bountifully endowed with Buds, the last remaining Pot plant which She knew was Forbidden to Her and Adam. Adam had lately developed a taste for what he called Applesauce and Eve thought that if she was very careful to leave no sign of Her Transgression, she could pick just a few Buds, mix them in with Adam's Applesauce, and no one would be the wiser.

But screw up did Eve, as in her Greed instead of taking a few small Buds from the lower Branches of the Pot Plant, she had spied a particularly Hugh Bud growing at the very top of the Plant, which had grown so stout and sturdy that it was all too easy for her to climb up among the branches of the Pot Plant and cut off this topmost Hugh Bud. She very quickly made her way back to the campsite where, sure enough, Adam has set most apples boiling to make his favorite dish, applesauce. She sent Adam to fetch fresh water from the stream and in his absence she shredded the Hugh Bud and added it to the Applesauce. It did not take long after consuming the applesauce for Adam to become Aroused and in the mood for procreating. And so they Did It and Did It and Did it until their joyous screams of joy did reach God Himself, Who had, in fact, been taking a long Nap.

Pleased with Adam and Eve's efforts he decided to Smoke a Pipeful of Buds and continue watching for a while. But when he reached down to pluck The Hugh Buds He had been Cultivating for a long time, He could not help but notice that the Topmost Bud, His Prize Bud, the Bud which he coveted over all other Buds, and the Bud He had most wanted to smoke WAS GONE! As His Rage did elevate itself into the Wrath of God He searched High and Low for his Most Prized Bud and, after finding no sign whatever of the Bud having been Smoked it occurred to Him to taste of Adam's Applesauce and It was There that he found the Remnants of his Most Prized Bud.

In a Full Blown Rage He turned the Skies Black and did Raise a Mighty Wind to drive the Rain He let loose as in a Flood, causing it to fall with such Force that Many Plants, and Small Creatures He had made were crushed beneath It. And True to his words God created a Whirlwind He decided to call a Tornado, and with the force of the Mighty Tornado He did Cause the Vacuum in the center to suck up Adam and Eve and Take Them from the Garden of Eden and drop them into the wilds of the Continent He had named Africa, where, ashamed of their nakedness they sought to cover themselves and and they did scream out and beg for the Mercy of God, who had Plucked some of the other Buds from his prized Pot Plant, loaded His Pipe and alit It with Fire He drew from the Sun with his Mighty Finger.

He got Very Stoned, and without a thought of Adam and Eve, he Got High, said,"This is some Great Sh*t!" and Smoked and got Higher and Higher until just before he fell asleep His Last Thought was that all was Well and then He did Crash for the rest of the Day.

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Saturday, March 27, 2010

Run, Monkey! Run!

posted by The Vidiot @ 8:28 AM Permalink

This story about about an evasive monkey in Tampa, Florida just made my day:
A fugitive monkey living for a year on fruit and trash in the Tampa suburbs is fast on his way to becoming a major cult hero with his own Facebook page and a growing list of devoted fans.
You gotta read the whole story. It's awesome. And what's funnier, all of the monkey's comments on 'his' facebook page end with some variation of "What's that!? Gotta go!...."

Ach, I wish I were that clever.

Anyway though, here in the land of Brooklyn, we heard a story about a dog that used to live in my neighborhood, back in the late 60s, early 70s. Seems the dog was a real delinquent, always getting picked up by the ASPCA. But he got to a point where he knew who the dog catchers were and he recognized the truck. So, when he saw the truck, he would find someone sitting on their stoop, run to them, sit down next to them and place his head in their lap. Then, after the dog catcher would pass, he would sit up, look around and when the coast was clear, he would go on his merry way.

There are more than a few human delinquents who aren't half as clever as that monkey or that dog.


Friday, March 26, 2010

Catholicism is in BIG trouble.

posted by The Vidiot @ 7:59 AM Permalink

You know, until Dr. Vidiot started studying Pentecostals, I never really appreciated my Roman Catholic upbringing. Once you sit through a few 3+ hour Pentecostal services, with all the loud music, dancing, tongue speaking, spiritual warfare and preaching, you'll begin to realize just how comfortable the Roman Catholic service is, with it's structure and solemnity.

Now, I'm not a religious person. The existence of God is not something I worry about too much. And how the priests and the nuns comported themselves 'off-stage' never really concerned me too much. They always stayed out of my hair, and the hair of everyone I've ever known.

But, apparently, over the years, they weren't staying out everyone's hair.

Here's how I see it. Everyone KNOWS that priests (and nuns) are human. Everyone KNOWS that humans have needs. And as long as those needs are met between consenting adults, then I have no problems with priest shacking up with nuns, parishioners or deacons for that matter. (That probably makes me an Episcopalian.) Please, if Father So-and-So wants to diddle Mother Superior and she's totally into it, who am I to care?

In fact, the church SHOULD take a blind eye to that sort of behavior (except for any sexual predators) because, like I said, as long as it's between consenting adults, whateverrr. But what the church should have done from the get-go is had a zero tolerance for pedophilia. The minute a priest was revealed to be a pedophile, he should've been hung out to dry, his name blasted through the media, hell, I'd even be up for a scarlet letter P tattooed on the idiot's forehead. I don't think pedophiles are attracted to the church. I don't think there are more pedophiles, percentage-wise, in the priesthood than there are in the general population. It's just that priest have access to A LOT of kids and behind closed doors. Additionally, it didn't help that the same few bad priests were shuffled around from parish to parish. It just made it look like there were a lot of parishes with pedophile priests because of that particular tactic.

But because they did that shuffle around thing, because they squelched investigations and lawsuits, because the tried to hide it, they're in way bigger trouble then they would've been had they just clamped down on the behavior from the beginning. I mean, this is worse than what the Borgias did. At least the Borgias were out in the open, wielding their power with all their might and perversions. Man!

So, of course, the Pope is in trouble. Not just his history with hiding pedophile priests:
Hans Kueng, the dissident Catholic theologian from Switzerland, has accused Pope Benedict XVI of playing a role since 2001 in keeping sex-abuse claims against priests out of the public eye.
but now his administration has been caught in a cover-up:
Revelations that the Vatican halted the investigation of a Wisconsin priest accused of molesting some 200 deaf boys have eerie echoes in Italy, where 67 deaf men and women accused two dozen priests of raping and molesting children for years.
The odds on Ratzinger abdicating are getting better.

New Pope or not though, they've definitely lost their moral authority.

But that's OK. The church was in dire need of a make-over anyway. I mean, of course, they should become vehemently anti-pedophilia and institute a zero-tolerance policy for that crap. But, wouldn't it be great if the church did more? Way more? Wouldn't it be great if it actually took on the role that the world's governments have disregarded? What if the church took on the role as the voice of the impoverished, under-represented, and oppressed? What if the church took a stand against capitalism and all its ravages? Wouldn't that be interesting?

The church is BIG. As big as any government sans a standing army of course. They have access to the halls of power, they have access to the media, they still have a huge following, they have the power to wield, what if they wielded it for the people?

Now THAT would be cool.

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Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Letter

posted by The Sailor @ 4:16 PM Permalink

From TPM I present a very small portion of:
An open letter to conservatives

Dear Conservative Americans,

The years have not been kind to you. I grew up in a profoundly Republican home, so I can remember when you wore a very different face than the one we see now. You've lost me and you've lost most of America. Because I believe having responsible choices is important to democracy, I'd like to give you some advice and an invitation.

First, the invitation: Come back to us.

Now the advice. You're going to have to come up with a platform that isn't built on a foundation of cowardice: fear of people with colors, religions, cultures and sex lives that differ from your own; fear of reform in banking, health care, energy; fantasy fears of America being transformed into an Islamic nation, into social/commun/fasc-ism, into a disarmed populace put in internment camps; and more. But you have work to do even before you take on that task.

Your party -- the GOP -- and the conservative end of the American political spectrum have become irresponsible and irrational. Worse, it's tolerating, promoting and celebrating prejudice and hatred. Let me provide some examples -- by no means an exhaustive list -- of where the Right as gotten itself stuck in a swamp of hypocrisy, hyperbole, historical inaccuracy and hatred.

If you're going to regain your stature as a party of rational, responsible people, you'll have to start by draining this swamp:
It goes on and is quite lengthy, but has links to all the destructive behaviors exhibited by the wrong wingers who hold major offices in our country. Slightly rearranged, it would make an excellent peer reviewed paper of our current political situation.

Ladies & gentlemen (sheesh, he was 16 when he recoded this!?) please welcome Alex Chilton

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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Never Ending Story of the Bible as Rewritten for…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 8:21 PM Permalink

…the Texas School Board which wishes to rewrite history to suit themselves rather than corrupting the innocent little chirrun' with the truth.

This installment picks up where God has had his second attempt to make a Man and His first attempt to create Woman, all eaten by Dinosaurs:

That was the last straw, so in his anger God decided that all the dinosaurs must be gotten rid of so as to not eat every Man He created. So with just a wave of his hand, He grabbed a hugh asteroid from Space above and hurled it with all his might, aiming for Canada, but the pitch went way off course and hit northeast Mexico, but the Effect was as he desired, so much dust was raised that it blocked out the Sun for the rest of the Day, killing off almost all plant life, the lives of most of the Creatures dinosaurs ate, and the dinosaurs died an ugly death suffering the pangs of hunger and lack of Sunshine. And the Lord said unto himself, "Geez, that worked a lot better than I thought it would. Now I have to replenish the small Creatures of the fields and figure out what to do with all those dinosaur bones."

In a flash of inspiration He did bury the bones all over the Earth at various depths and chuckled to Himself that the next Man or Men He placed on Earth would be sorely pressed to figure out what these bones had belonged to and would give Man endless hours of entertainment digging, finding bones, putting them together like a puzzle, and trying to figure out what they were, when they had lived, how they lived, how they died, and what purpose for which they were on Earth. The more he thought about it the more amused did God become.

And so Ended the Fourth Day and the Dawn brought upon the Earth the beginning of the Fifth Day. God was very Despondent and Depressed. All His best efforts to Create Man and Woman has thus far been met with Disaster. But, determined to not give up, for after all he was God, so He did indeed restore all the small Creatures of the fields and the Fishes in the Oceans and saw that It was good, and so He did partake more of the interesting multi-fingered Plant with the Buds packed into his Pipe and again used only one of His Mighty Hands to draw fire from the Sun to light the Pipe. After much Smoking, as He had decided to call the Inhalation of the Smoke from the Pipe, His good mood was restored, He realized that five days had gone by and He had originally wanted to complete Earth in Seven days, and so he Created a New, Bigger, and Better Garden of Eden, molded a New Man out of Clay, and then he did Breathe Life unto the Man just as He was exhaling the Smoke from the Buds, and He did Laugh and Laugh and Laugh as He watched the Man catching a Buzz, so when he did again take a Rib from His New, Improved Man, much better Hung than the last two who had been very poorly Hung with the apparatus Man would use to reproduce, He was sure to make her as Voluptuous as possible, Endowing Her with Magnificent Mammary Glands, as He decided to call them with the Intent that She use them to feed the Children He expected the two of them to produce, and then did Breathe Life into Her, again with the Smoke from the Buds He now so liked to Smoke. Almost immediately the Man and the Woman did start the process of Reproduction while Laughing and Laughing as they became more Aroused. God saw that this was Good, and He did Smoke another Pipe of Buds before He rested and slept the rest of Day Five.

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Monday, March 22, 2010

To show the Texas School Board…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 11:57 PM Permalink

…that if you are going to rewrite history you should start with the Bible, this is my third installment towards that effort:

Upon awaking on the Fourth Day God couldn't find the Man anywhere, but He did see footprints like those of a Man followed by dozens of other footprints in the sand going in the same direction. He followed he tracks and found a corpse. The dinosaurs he had created before Man had pursued, caught, killed, and eaten the Man. All that was left of the Man was being picked clean by carrion eating birds until a Tyrannosaurus Rex burst into the clearing, picked up the bloody corpse of Man and swallowed it whole, and several vultures along with it. This did Piss Him off mightily, but with infinite patience He did start again.

He created another Man, calling him Dick, which for some reason amused Him, and placed him in as beautiful a Garden of Eden, but far from the First Garden for safety's sake. To insure that this new Man would have Someone to Help the Man, He did remove a single Rib from the Man he called Dick and created Woman. He decided to call her Lynn and he did then introduce them and told them to Populate the world by having Babies.

And He was mightily pleased with Himself and the New Man Dick and his Woman Lynn. Then he went traveling about the world, viewing it close up, from billions of light years distance, from every angle and, mightily pleased with His work He returned to the new Garden of Eden to check up on Man and his Woman. This time it was even worse. a gang of velociraptors had hunted the Man down, torn him limb-from-limb and had almost finished eating the Man. Again the mighty T-Rex came bellowing into the area and the other dinosaurs split, again allowing the T-Rex to consume the last of the corpse. The T-Rex then spotted the woman and started in pursuit, which the dinosaur easily won, killing and swallowing the Woman Lynn with a single bite.

That was the last straw, so in his anger God decided that all the dinosaurs must be destroyed so as to not eat every Man He created. So with a wave of his hand, He grabbed a hugh asteroid from Space above and hurled it with all his might, aiming for Canada, but the pitch went way off course and hit northeast Mexico, but the Effect was as he desired, so much dust was raised that it blocked out the Sun for centuries, killing off almost all plant life, the lives of most of the Creatures dinosaurs ate, and the dinosaurs died an ugly death suffering the pangs of hunger and lack of Sunshine. And the Lord said unto himself, "Geez, that worked a lot better than I thought it would. Now I have to replenish the small Creatures of the fields and figure out what to do with all these dinosaur bones."

To be continued…

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Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war

posted by The Sailor @ 7:44 PM Permalink

"Sherman, set the WABAC machine for 2010."

"Yes Mr. Peabody. Isn't that the year the American's finally got a watered down version of Universal Health Care that most countries had in full strength for years?"

"Indeed it is Sherman."

[WABAC machine SFX]

[Flashback; WABAC]
Senator DeMint(ed) (R-Ucrazy): “If we’re able to stop Obama on this it will be his Waterloo. It will break him.”

Rep. John Boehner (R-Ohio): Health care passing 'over my dead body.' - March 17, 2010
"You know, I've been telling my staff nine months, 'They can't pass this bill.' And finally my staff wrestled me to the ground last fall and said, 'Mr. Boehner, we have to quit saying this because they're gonna pass this bill.' And I looked at my staff and I said, 'Alright, I'll try to throttle it back a little bit. But it'll be over my dead body.'"

Boehner on "Meet the Press" -- September 20, 2009
"So you think the plan is dead?" asked host David Gregory.
"I think it is," said Boehner.

Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.) - March 12, 2008
"I've been being asked that question over the last couple days, and to be honest with you, I don't think they can pass the bill... I don't even think we need to be talking about 'after they pass it' because they don't have the votes right now..."

– Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA), Minority Whip, February 24: “Speaker Pelosi doesn’t have the votes in the House. . . . It is futile for for them to continue to try and push something on the American people that frankly won’t result in better health care.”

– Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA), March 5: “Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi doesn’t have the votes needed to pass a health-care bill in the House of Representatives.”

– Rep. John Boehner (R-OH), Minority Leader, March 14: “If she had 216 votes, this bill would be long gone. They tried to pass it in September, October, November, December, January, February. Guess what? They don’t have the votes.”

– Cantor, March 19: “[T]here’s no way they can pass this bill.”
"Gee Mr. Peabody, I don't remember that part!"

"No one does Sherman. Once HCR passed everyone in America had access to health care, mental and physical, and they decided that the crazy, lying, crazy & lying folks who made those statements just needed help. But since treatment is voluntary the poor republicans and teabaggers just eventually spent their days wandering around the Capitol, looking for handouts from the K Street whores, ranting and raving about socialism and black people who don't know their place, and President Hayes."

"Gee Mr. Peabody, aren't there any of them left!?"

"Only one Sherman, poor Rep. Boner. His Congressional lifetime health care has paid for all his organ transplants except his brain. It's such a shame, he still thinks he's pimping for the K Street whores and the president refuses to speak to him."

"You mean ...?

"Yes Sherman, the Mack Senate was censored by the Hayes Commission."

If you thought that was bad, just wait till you see this:

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So, the House passed the health care bill.

posted by The Vidiot @ 9:15 AM Permalink

Last night, 219-212.

And as I was listening to some of the speeches about it, my favorites were the ones who said we were sliding into totalitarianism if it were to be passed. Which is obviously an incredibly brilliant thing to say. I mean, if you want the health care bill to pass, but you want to APPEAR that you DON'T want it to pass, you say something completely outrageous and without merit. That way, nobody has to agree with you AND you seem like you're obstructing. Meanwhile, the bill, which is a big fat handout to the insurance industry, is passed, you continue to get your 'donations' from that industry, the money continues to be taken from those below and moved up to those above, the status quo is maintained and everyone keeps up appearances.

This health care 'debate' has been AWESOME.


Sunday, March 21, 2010

If the Texan School Board can rewrite schoolbooks with the intent…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 4:10 PM Permalink

…of changing history by cutting out Thomas Jefferson (How will they explain the hugh Jefferson Monument to all the little chirrun'?) Then I, as an atheist am free to rewrite the Bible. This is the second installment that began March 12, 2010. We pick up the story from the end of Day Two:

On the Third Day He did create animals; reptiles, lions, tigers, and monkeys and many, many, of all manner of creatures, He did create for the land, including dinosaurs large and small, and for His beautiful oceans He Created all manner of crustaceans, fish, sharks (the Great White Shark, in particular, greatly pleased Him for come reason), and to insure a sufficient supply of what He termed Food, He did also create millions of different Flora and Fauna with just a wave of His Mighty Hand, and to prevent Sloth from entering His Favorite Planet He did make it so that the Flora and Fauna flourished under the Great Light He decided to call a Sun, combined with the Great Fall Of Water He called Rain, and other nutrients from, as He named it, the Soil.

Seeing how cool were all the Things and Creatures He had constructed, He did take some clay into His Hands, and molded it into his very own image, as He saw reflected in the still waters of a Pond and confirmed by another look at the Mirror of the Cabinet wherein He kept his aspirin, He then gave this Creature the name Man because Man sounded so cool to Him, was easy to remember, and made him laugh unto Himself at all the variations the name opened up, such as, "Hey, Man," and, "What's up, Man," or, "Cool, Man."

So, satisfied with the Great Deal He had undertaken and how He had succeeded far beyond His Expectations, His Greatest Act of the Day He was to breath the Breath of Life into Man, coincidently inventing what came to later be called "Shot-gunning," or the facilitating of the exchange of the Smoke of Plants He had created that very day, and, in fact, one Plant He found particularly intriguing with its multiple finger-like leaves with white Buds as He had decided to call them; He did pick, made them Dry, and placed them into a new object He called a Pipe, lit the Buds with Fire drawn from the Sun with His Mighty Finger and breathed in the what he called Smoke. And liked the effects of Getting High and He found that It was good. It enhanced the beautiful colors of the World He had created so He continued Smoking Buds until Sleep fell upon Him. His last thought being that this was Good and would bear Repeating.

Then, before Crashing, He remembered that He had decided to end the day by placing the new Creature he called Man, deciding to name him George, into one of the most beautiful, fruitful places, crawling with other creatures and just so Great that He named it The Garden of Eden for no reason other than it sounded cool, "Hey, Man, where are you going?" and Man would respond, "To the bountiful Garden of Eden You gave me, Lord." Then, still chuckling to himself He did sleep and all was Good.

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Friday, March 19, 2010

Just what is it that has Republicans so scared of Health Care…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 6:22 PM Permalink

…Reform? So scared that they have to make up outrageous lies and innuendo to try and stop it's passage? Did they take so much money from lobbyists that if HC now passes they will be sunk so deep into a hole of their own making that insurance lobbyists will never again place their money on losing horses that can't stop legislation they don't like?

I have to admit a certain bit of skepticism [ok,ok, I'll admit it! My bullsh*t detector lights up like a pinball machine on acid. Bill] every time one of the known, well known, prevaricators of the republican party start lecturing democrats in the national media that, "Those democrats better learn that they are going to suffer badly during the next election if they pass HC Reform [Hmm, where have I heard those initials HRC before?] without any republican support."

I know there is not chance in hell that should the democrats start passing this reform without any republican votes that republicans would en masse storm their way to the clerk and start changing their votes from nay to yea. Otherwise it will be crystal clear to their constituents and anyone needing, desiring, or that must be able to get affordable health care that the only thing for sure is the person they elected to represent them is so deep into the pockets of Big Health that they don't dare vote against the wishes of health care lobbyists or they will lose future donations of mega-bucks for their reelection campaigns.

Tell me how that would hurt the democratic party? It would, in fact, strengthen their hand at election time because democrats had to both lead the republicans to the trough, AND force them to drink that of which they would haven't have touched beforehand.

This really is the Big Shot for democrats: they can do what they know is right, show the courage to do what's right, and pass health care without regard to any upcoming elections. So it's do something Big and maybe lose office over your vote, or do nothing and allow republicans to reclaim the mantle of the party what's in charge and forever listen to them call democrats cowards and mean it, for it would be the truth.

So c'mon, democrats, DO WHAT YOU KNOW IS RIGHT.

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Tell Me Something Good

posted by The Sailor @ 2:12 PM Permalink

Good news for Modern Man We The People:
Judge Says Gov’t Must Allow Funding for ACORN

U.S. District Judge Nina Gershon cemented her earlier decision in December and made the injunction against government intervention permanent, asking all federal agencies to spread the word that money to ACORN be allowed without delay.

The judge wrote that it was "unmistakable that Congress determined ACORN's guilt before defunding it."
Speaking of ACORN; Did you know that all the WrongWing and MSM and Congress' castigation and outrage relied on that pimp and his whores doctoring of the tapes? And that all the investigations so far have cleared ACORN?

And the pimp and his whore refused to release the original, uncut tapes? And that even their employer & sponsor, [not so]Brietbart has started walking back his endorsement of the pimp?

In other news:
Appeals Court Upholds $20,000 Fine Against Orly Taitz

The 11th Circuit Court of Appeals has rejected Orly Taitz's appeal of the $20,000 fine imposed on her for making frivolous filings in a long-running Birther case.

"We have fully considered Taitz's arguments," the ruling from a three-judge panel reads. "We find them unpersuasive and therefore affirm the district court's sanctions judgment."

A federal judge in Georgia imposed the sanction on Taitz in October, blasting her for, among other things, using "the courts as a platform for a political agenda disconnected from any legitimate legal cause of action."
The Appeals Court didn't deem their rejection of her petition worthy of publication. Probably because an Oily Taint might smear the opinion, in addition to the Justices themselves.

Sarah Palin is in the news again, and again, and again. Yes, American Idle is once again deemed newsworthy, and energizing her base, or is that her crack?

From Rep. Alan Grayson's press release:
On Friday night, Sarah Palin came to Orlando, and attacked Rep. Alan Grayson.

This is what she said: "I got to meet quite a few candidates who are lining up in a contested primary who want to take out Alan Grayson. And I think Alan Grayson -- what can you say about Alan Grayson? Piper is with me tonight, so I won't say anything about Alan Grayson that can't be said around children. [Good one, Sarah!] But thank you, Florida, for allowing candidates in a contested primary to duke it out over ideas and principles and values, all with the same goal, and that is unseating those who have such a disconnect from the people of America. That's what the goal is here in this race against Alan Grayson. Please fight hard, and do this for the rest of the country. Fight hard, and send a conservative to Washington, DC."

Palin, the former half-term Governor, current-nothing and future-even-less, charmed the all-Republican audience with her folksy folksiness and her homespun homespunnery. Atypically, Palin was wearing clothes that she had paid for herself. At the end of the event, she shared her recipe for mooseface pie.

In response to Palin's attack on Rep Grayson, Grayson actually complimented Palin. Grayson praised Palin for having a hand large enough to fit Grayson's entire name on it. He thanked Palin for alleviating the growing shortage of platitudes in Central Florida. Grayson added that Palin deserved credit for getting through the entire hour-long program without quitting. Grayson also said that Palin really had mastered Palin's imitation of Tina Fey imitating Palin. Grayson observed that Palin is the most-intelligent leader that the Republican Party has produced since George W. Bush.

When asked to comment about what effect Palin's criticism might have, Grayson pointed out, "As the Knave's horse says in Alice in Wonderland, 'dogs will believe anything.'" Earlier, as the Orlando Sentinel reported, Grayson said, "I'm sure Palin knows all about politics in Central Florida, since from her porch she can see Winter Park," which is part of Grayson's district.

Grayson said that the Alaskan chillbilly was welcome to return to Central Florida anytime, as long as she brings lots of money with her, and spends it. "I look forward to an honest debate with Governor Palin on the issues, in the unlikely event that she ever learns anything about them,"
Grayson added, alluding to Politifact's "liar, liar, pants on fire" evaluation of much of what Palin has said .

Scientists are studying Sarah Palin's travel between Alaska and Florida carefully. They hope to learn more about the flight patterns of that elusive migratory species, the wild Alaskan dingbat.
Gosh, Alan, don't be shy, tell us what you really think.
Note to other Dems; this is what a spine looks like, try to acquire one.

And now for some Chaka, Chaka Kahn ... & Rufus

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Thursday, March 18, 2010

Hip To Be Square

posted by The Sailor @ 5:33 PM Permalink

Checking out the news today I ran across this little item on NPR's website:
National Review: The Social Justice Code

When Glenn Beck urged Christians to leave churches that preach social justice, he allowed himself to be tripped up by conventional buzzwords of the campus Left. In plain English, "social justice" is a goal of all churches and refers to helping the poor and seeking equality. As a code word, it refers to a controversial package of goals including political redistribution of wealth, gay marriage, and a campaign against "institutional racism," "classism," "ableism," and "heterosexism."
Why is NPR reprinting an opinion article from the extreme right wing site National Review? If they are trying to broaden their base of contributors I have news for them, people who believe the hate spewed from the Nat'l Review are never going to donate money to NPR, and 'people like me' aren't going to in the future.

And guess who CNN just hired?
Meet Erick Erickson: CNN's newest political commentator

CNN announced that RedState.com editor Erick Erickson will join the channel as a political commentator, stating that he is "a perfect fit" for the new show John King, USA.

Erickson defends Beck's statement that Obama is "racist" and lashes out at "Obama Brownshirts."
Erickson calls Michelle Obama a "marxist harpy wife."
Erickson calls [Supreme Court Justice] Souter a "goat fucking child molester."
Erickson: "At what point do the people ... march down to their state legislator's house, pull him outside, and beat him to a bloody pulp?"
Erickson: Purpose of Bachmann rally is "to tell Nancy Pelosi and the Congress to send Obama to a death panel."
Erickson has made numerous sexist statements. After an anti-abortion ad during this year's Super Bowl, Erickson wrote, "that's it?!?! That's what the feminazis were enraged over? Seriously?!? Wow. That's what being too ugly to get a date does to your brain"; and "Thus ends the credibility of all pro-abortion groups. Thanks Mrs. Tebow for that. Ugly feminists return to their kitchens."
CNN, the most trusted name in hiring violent, misogynistic, homophobic, xenophobic neanderthals. (See Lou Dobbs, Glenn Beck et al.)

They could have hired a rational, logical conservative, (I swear they're out there, I can hear them breeding), but no, they had to go bat$hit crazy.

Can we finally be done with the 'liberal media' canard!?

Cross posted at SteveAudio

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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My theory about the Census form

posted by The Vidiot @ 1:36 PM Permalink

We just got ours and our immediate feeling was "Eff that. I'm tossing it." I mean it asks so many personal questions and while I'm sure the government already has most of the answers to those questions, they just don't have it all in one spot so why should I make it easier for them?

But then there's that ominous box on the outer envelope that says "your response is required by law" and I decided to do a little research, just in case.

Turns out, the census was only set up for enumeration purposes only. In Article I, Section 2, Clause 3, it says:
Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct.
It goes on and on about representation, but the only mention of the census relates to enumeration and that's it.

SO THEN, I looked at the actual form and I noticed that the first question, design wise, is sort of boxed off from the rest of the blather.

And that question pertains to how many people live in that household. And that made me think, "Hmmmm, perhaps that's the only LEGAL question on the damn thing." I showed it to a lawyer here at work and while he couldn't say for sure, he said is sure looked to him like an argument could be made that they set that one off for a reason. It's just that he, being a lawyer, couldn't say exactly why without specializing in that kind of law. What he did know is that on lots of forms, when they ask you about your ethnicity or race or anything like that, those questions are ALWAYS optional.

Anyway, so I'm thinking, just answer question number one. IF they want more, they can google you.

Please note: This is not legal advice for heavens sake. If you think it is, you should probably hand over the keys to your car, all of your credit cards and anything sharp or dangerous in your pockets to the nearest sane and thinking person. You could do some real damage to yourself otherwise.


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

posted by The Sailor @ 7:35 PM Permalink

Maybe the revolution won't be, but the steps leading up to it are online:
C-Span Puts Full Archives on the Web
Full disclosure: The headline is from an article in the NYT Television section, the link is to the actual archive.

Pop some popcorn and do some research, I recommend the Merlot to wash away accompany the hypocrisy that comes in all flavors.

Cross posted at SteveAudio

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Monday, March 15, 2010

I'm sure they're just codifying

posted by The Vidiot @ 8:26 AM Permalink

what they've already been doing:
Why is the national security community treating the "Enemy Belligerent, Interrogation, Detention, and Prosecution Act of 2010," introduced by Sens. John McCain and Joseph Lieberman on Thursday as a standard proposal, as a simple response to the administration's choices in the aftermath of the Christmas Day bombing attempt? A close reading of the bill suggests it would allow the U.S. military to detain U.S. citizens without trial indefinitely in the U.S. based on suspected activity.
Hence the lackadaisical treatment of it by both Congress and the media.



posted by The Vidiot @ 8:14 AM Permalink

So, Dodd thinks the fed should have even MORE power?
In a remarkable recovery by the U.S. central bank after a steep drop in its political popularity, Senate Banking Committee Chairman Christopher Dodd was poised to release a bill that leans heavily on the Fed, sources said on Sunday.

Not only would a new government watchdog for financial consumers be housed within the Fed, but it would also retain much of its present authority over large bank holding companies and gain new authority over selected nonbank financial firms.

Is it any wonder he gets a goodly portion of his donations from Securities and Investment firms?

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Friday, March 12, 2010

I've been house hunting, may have found one, I have placed my bid, so I now have time to help Texas rewrite history…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 5:34 PM Permalink

…But I think it's a serious mistake for them not to start with the Original Books upon which they base life itself, the Bible, incorporating, of course the argument that Man and dinosaurs coexisted together. This rewrite has grown much longer than I supposed it would and is much longer, so I will break it up into installments, starting with this one.

On the First Day the Lord, still hungover from his invention of what later became known as 'sacramental wine' said, "Let there be light!" And light came unto the Great Void, the Lord, reeling and repulsed, badly hungover, said, "Turn off the Light!" When He awoke he still had an aching head, so he Created Aspirin, took several pills of it and his head stopped hurting, so He said unto Himself, "That was cool, so I will allow it to stay around just in case I have another headache." But looking around He saw nothing to keep the aspirin in so He created what He decided to call a 'medicine cabinet' placed a bottle, His newest Idea, of Aspirin onto a Shelf, and just for His amusement He did make a Mirrored Door that He closed and lo! gazing at His reflection in the Mirror said, "I did not know I was such a Handsome God!" So vowing to create Creatures to Worship His image, Hangover fading fast, He did again kick back and return to sleep and so It Was. The First Day the Lord spent sleeping off the rest of His hangover.

On the Second Day He again called for Light, and the Lord didn't like the emptiness, the Great Void, surrounding him, the only object within view a Ball so dense and heavy not even the Omnipotent one himself could pick it up, move it in anyway, or do anything fun with it, so the Lord did cast a mighty bolt of Energy that caused the Ball to explode with such great force that it knocked the the Lord on his ass and thereafter all He did was watch galaxies being created, some loose, some spinning, some not, red hot orbs He called Suns, and whirling discs of debris that slowly joined together to become Planets, another fine word he invented. He mumbled to himself, " Wow! Did I do that?" One nearby planet in particular caught his attention so He did cause Water, a brand new Idea, to fall and fall until Earth shone as a blue jewel in comparison to the other trillions of suns and planets in the broad open Lesser Voids in space. These Lesser Voids quickly started to bore Him so he decided to do something that would amuse Himself, maybe something capable of bringing a mighty Laugh unto the Lord.

So, He created the oceans, seven (His lucky number) seas, and a single hugh piece of dry land. The dry land disturbed the Lord as the aesthetics didn't look quite right, so he broke the Land up into Great Segments, spacing them until they appealed to his Eye and thusly created the Continents, which pleased Him greatly except for the bareness everywhere. Then He did return to sleeping for the rest of the day to ready Himself for the fun He was to have when He awoke to finally rid Himself of what He had decided to call a Hangover that tended to interfere with having Fun. Another new concept conceived at the very moment He did choose to conceive it, and it was good. He decided to Crash as tomorrow would be a Fun though busy day.

[Installment Two, Day Three, coming soon. How did those silly bastards on Texas School Board thing they could revise schoolbooks without revising the Bible first? Typical government thinking. Bill]

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It would be comical... if it weren't so maddening

posted by The Vidiot @ 8:50 AM Permalink

Seriously? Is this woman for real?
"When prices rise across the industry, and where there are only a limited number of players in the game, we have to ask ourselves whether there is any meaningful competition in the marketplace," Clyburn declared in a public statement. "Moreover, when executives from major broadband providers indicate that they will only roll out faster speeds in the few markets where they have competition, our fears about whether meaningful competition exists should grow."
She's shocked, SHOCKED that there's a lack of competition in an industry, a lack of competition that those of us out here in the real world have been screaming about for years now.

It's like she's just crawled out from under her rock and realized that there's a sun and air and water and wow, like, WOW!

And these idiots are taken seriously, given airtime, power, and a salary? Is it any wonder it's all screwed up?

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So, you think the Census is benign?

posted by The Vidiot @ 8:42 AM Permalink

Just a reminder that, when you get that harmless-looking form, that the information you provide could be used in ways you can't even imagine... (or could, if you were me).
In a paper to be presented this weekend, two researchers say an assassination threat against President Franklin Roosevelt during World War II prompted the Census Bureau to compile a list of every person of Japanese descent who lived in or near Washington, D.C.

It is the first known instance in which the Census Bureau has shared an individual's information to help the surveillance efforts of another part of the government in the last 75 years, the researchers say.


What most people want

posted by The Vidiot @ 8:25 AM Permalink

I think I can safely say the following with confidence:

People don't want war
People want the big banks broken up
People want to be able to go to a doctor, any doctor, and not have to worry about going broke by doing it
People want their kids to learn, not be indoctrinated
People want to see men on the moon and on mars
People want time to spend with their families, pursuing the things that interest them

All of these things can be said about People.

So why is there so much war, big all-powerful banks, impossibly expensive healthcare, poor schools, a neglected space program and no time for anything but work because so many bills and taxes have to be paid?

It's because when corporations obtained their personhood, People, actual human people, lost their power. What corporate persons want will always trump what People want every single time.

I know it's not profound, and I know it's been said a so many times by so many others. But I think it bears repeating. We have to constantly remind ourselves that this government--or any government/nation state for that matter--does not govern FOR the People. If more of us stop thinking the way they want us to and start thinking for ourselves, maybe then we can change this mess.

Remember, there are more of us then there are of them.

And there always will be.


The Healthcare debate is just a bunch of noise.

posted by The Vidiot @ 7:48 AM Permalink

Well, one can't really call it a debate. What is basically happening is a bunch of folks are sort of yelling at each other and accusing each other of a whole bunch of things: It'll raise rates. It's a boon to the insurance companies. Government-managed anything is bloated and ineffective. More people will be covered. Less people will be covered. There will be death panels. Abortion will be restricted. It'll save money in the long run. It'll cost money in the long run. It's socialism!

Honestly, I can't make heads or tails of it. And I tried. I really did. I tried to read the actual bill, but my word, it's too long. I tried to read "trusted" sources evaluating the bill, but for the most part, those sources were too biased one way or the other to be entirely believed.

So, where does that leave me? That leaves me sure of one thing: that this bill, no matter in what form it is passed, no matter how many riders or signing statements or well-intentioned amendments it has, it will not change anything for any people. Sure, some folks will get shifted around, but some folks won't. Some folks will pay more, some will pay less, and some won't pay at all. It'll all be about the same as it is now with only a teeny weeny bit of change so the politicians have something to wave around at election time.

But you can be sure of on thing: it will change the same thing every bit of legislation ever changes; it will give more power to corporations, in this case, the health insurance companies.

Which means there is no way this so-called healthcare reform reforms anything. It mainly reinforces the class structure in this country, maintaining the weak in their vulnerable position while solidifying the power at the top, which, in this case, is the power of life and death.

In the mish-mosh that is this healthcare reform debate, the one thing they don't want you looking at is how it will solidify the power at the top.

Which explains all the goddamn noise.


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Memories, spread between the cheeks of their…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 2:18 PM Permalink

…well, you know what I mean.

HOW QUICKLY THEY FORGET. Republicans are screaming the heebie-jeebies over the alleged corruption of the Democratic Party due to the actions of a fool, that Massa guy that even Glenn Beck said was a waste of time [and skin. Bill], and Charlie Rangel over allegations of accepting bribes in return for political patronage. How soon they do forget, so let's take a stroll down memory lane [remembering that mine has many potholes, broken bridges, sinkholes, and other deficiencies. Bill]

Let's start with the biggies first, the 'top men,' the best of the best of the best, those upon whom republicans look, or looked to, as veritable gods, Presidents and their partners in crime. Let's see:

Richard Nixon, still the kingpin of crime in office as president, surrounded by paragons of virtue, and his plumbers Bernard Barker, Virgilio Gonzalez, Eugenio Martinez, Frank Sturgis, and James W. McCord Jr, E. Howard Hunt, HR Halderman, and the cover-up team led by Jeb Magruder, McCord and Liddy. Spiro Agnew and his tax evasion conviction, leaving the office of VP in disgrace. Too far back?

Think Republican god, whose picture would be on all our currency, damned near every public building, airport, park, mountain, every public monument, or choo-choo train: Rockin' Ronnie Raygun! Who promised weapons in the future to the Ayatollah of Iran with the promise that they would release the 80 or so American hostages they held ONLY AFTER Ronnie was elected president, Carter defeated. Rethugs still deny this even though Ronnie himself went on national TV and admitted it; he had been trading weapons with Iran, known terrorists, to help them fight Iraq. He was of course assisted by many other republicans, the only conviction for wrongdoing being that of Casper Weinberger, but former CIA chief, vice-president, and then president George HW Bush swept away one conviction, three guilty pleas and two pending cases in a wild party spree of pardons. Whoopee! Fine republicans all!

Mark Foley! Trent Lott! Bob Ney! Denny Hastert! Randy Cunningham! Tom Foley! And lest we forget the lates and greatest, The Big Dick himself, Richard Cheney and his snot-nosed little buddy, the number one war criminal, threat to world peace, and considered by most of the world to be the Number One Terrorist who ever lived: G-e-o-r-g-e w b-u-s-h, reigning champion of wicked rethuglicans, even counting others like David Vitter and all those many, many others embroiled still in the Jack Abramoff scandal!

So, yes, oh, yes, before the elections let all of America here a loud chorus of voices singing the praises of the republican leader's way of life: lies, obstructions, praying for the president, and therefore the country, to fail.Actually advocating and praying for the death of a president, the corrupt acts of treasonous actors and those whose interests do not coincide with the important historical perspective of true Americans who still want the American dream.

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Tuesday, March 09, 2010

I See Inside Myself and Know It's Painted Black

posted by The Sailor @ 7:18 PM Permalink

Media Matters has a great take down of Karl Rove's new work of fiction:
Going Rove: Courage and Consequence is full of falsehoods

1. Rove distorts Senate report to claim Bush didn't "lie us into the war"

2. Rove falsehood: Obama claims "Obamacare would not add to the deficit ... evidence shows just the opposite"

3. Rove revives tired smear that Gore wrongly said "that he had created the Internet"

4. Rove revives Gore-Love Story smear

5. Rove falsehood: Gore said he had "discovered the Love Canal chemical disaster"

6. Rove pals around with falsehood that Ayers was "Obama's great friend"

7. Rove wrong on number of presidents who left office by "assassination or resignation
And that's just the first page!
Seriously, check it out, they do the research and have the links to it. Thank the FSM they have more time than I do.

The Quittah from Wasilla compares herself to god:
Palin: Writing on palms ‘was good enough for God’

Sarah Palin has a message for critics of her crib-notes during February's Tea Party keynote speech: God did it too.

At a fundraiser on Friday for the Ohio Right to Life group, Palin assailed the media for getting "all wigged out about that" and claimed they're attacking her because they "couldn't argue the content" of the words.

Referring the crowd to a Bible passage from Isiah 49:16, she assured them she's "in good company."

"If what was good enough for God, scribbling on the palm of his hand, it's good enough for me, for us," Palin said. "In that passage he says, I wrote your name on the palm of my hand to remember you. And I'm like okay, I'm in good company."
Actually, the chapter and verse is Isaiah saying The Lord (maybe it's my lack of indoctrination, but isn't 'the lord' Jesus!? I get so confused by the bible) told him "Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."

And I'm so totally, ya know, like, also, too, not okay, with the Bimbo from Limbo comparing god (or jesus) carving their hand, with this retard having to scribble on her hand of the 3 major talking points she (and every republican) has given in every speech! i.e. “energy,” “budget tax cuts,” and “lift American spirit"
Next up in the Race for the Loon:
Virginia AG orders colleges to stop protecting gays

Officials and student leaders at Virginia colleges are reacting mutedly, so far, to an order from state Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli that the schools stop protecting LGBT students.

In a letter (PDF) sent to the state's public colleges and universities and obtained by the Washington Post, Cuccinelli declared that the schools don't have the authority to uphold bans on discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation when the state itself has no such ban.

"It is my advice that the law and public policy of the Commonwealth of Virginia prohibit a college or university from including 'sexual orientation,' 'gender identity,' 'gender expression,' or like classification, as a protected class within its non-discrimination policy, absent specific authorization from the General Assembly," the letter stated.
Virginia has many fine colleges and universities, but I have a feeling they aren't going to get many applicants next year.
Another contestant in the Race for the Loon:
GOP: Law banning child abuse in schools will lead to ‘government takeover’

A proposed law designed to prevent child abuse in schools has been lauded by children's protection advocates, and slammed by House Republicans as an unnecessary expansion of federal government power.
Though the bill was a bipartisan effort in reaction to a government report last year that found "hundreds of cases of alleged abuse and death" related to the practices, it was opposed by a vast majority of Republicans, who said the bill amounted to an intrusion on states' rights and the ability of local school districts to determine their own policies.
It really sucks that the Federal Government has to intervene, but if the local boards and the states can't protect the weakest among us it is past time. Torturing kids when the 'act up' is the job of the parents, not the states.
We has another contender for Peak Loon:
'Operation Exodus': Louisiana Sheriff Taps Locals For Emergency Security Plan

A Louisiana sheriff plans to arm volunteers with shotguns, riot shields, batons, and a .50-caliber machine gun mounted on a "war wagon," as part of "Operation Exodus," a program to provide security in the event of a terrorist attack or civic unrest. "It's a calling," he says.
But wait! There's more:
The office of the Louisiana sheriff who's forming a citizen militia to defend the parish in the event of a terrorist attack says it has information about possible Islamic terrorist activity in its midst.
Srsly!? LOL! I mean OMG, terrorists live and train in BumFuk Lousiana!?

Anyone else want to bet the sheriff & his pussie [sic] are 100% caucasian? (as far as they know;-)

Cross posted at SteveAudio

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I gots a plan that I'm sure will work if even just a majority helps out…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 4:18 PM Permalink

…My email to Congressman John Garamendi:
Honorable Sir, I have long known of you, going back to your days when you were the Insurance Commissioner and I was a licensed bail agent years ago and I have always had great respect for you. However, I am so sick of the partisanship stopping progress on health care and jobs that I am now actively advocating for voting to remove from office any incumbent not fighting tooth and nail to stop this nonsense and do something for the American people and those you represent. Cost, costs, costs, and tax cuts are the divisive mantra of the Republican party members of congress, all of whom I would call traitor for actively wishing and actively advocating and praying for our lawfully elected president to fail. But President Obama cannot do it by himself and I say ANY congressman that sits on his duff and doesn't work with equal fervor to insure the success of President Obama's agenda does not deserve to be in office. I can only get these words out to a few hundred people, but if they tell another few hundred, before long maybe we can get a movement going, the American way. So, respectfully,sir, either get on board with President Obama's agenda or don't expect me, my extended family, or the hundreds they can contact to vote for any incumbent that, along with his cohorts, just can't get the job American's demand done; try to vote out every incumbent 'til we find someone who can get the job done when they are in the majority AND have a mandate from the people!

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Monday, March 08, 2010

Jaw-dropping Assholery

posted by The Vidiot @ 7:35 AM Permalink

Tom DeLay on those unemployed folks:
"In fact there are some studies that have been done that show people stay on unemployment compensation and they don't look for a job until two or three weeks before they know the benefits are going to run out," he argued.

"People are unemployed because they want to be? " asked Crowley.

"Well, it is the truth. And people in the real world know it," said DeLay.

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Saturday, March 06, 2010

Ice, Ice, Baby

posted by The Sailor @ 7:03 PM Permalink

Note to self: This

Goes here (once the ice has receded!)


Friday, March 05, 2010

It's not that difficult to get free health care here in…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 3:34 PM Permalink

…America. Actually it's quite easy.

First ya gotta sign-up in the military and get sent to a highly toxic zone, like Vietnam, where they had no idea of the effects of dioxin, a chemical the government would like to disinvent.

Get not one, but two cancers in the lymph nodes of the left side of your face and neck. Undergo a radical neck dissection AFTER four months of chemotherapy and ONLY after you've had 6,000 rads of radiation shot through the tumors from four different angles while you lay there, head clamped to the table by a heat and pressure formed mask aligned with the little dots they tattoo behind your ear and on your neck for aligning the mask and aiming the radiation equipment.

Then, and only then, when the tumors are still scoffing at every one of your doctors, then you go under the knife for a radical neck dissection, a medical term of art:
The purpose of radical neck dissection is to remove lymph nodes and other structures in the head and neck that are likely or known to be malignant. Variations on neck dissections exist, depending on the extent of the cancer. A radical neck dissection removes the most tissue. It is performed when the cancer has spread widely in the neck.…
Where they also happen to irrevocably sever the fifth cranial nerve:
The trigeminal nerve is quite complex. It functions both as the chief nerve of sensation for the face and the motor nerve controlling the muscles of mastication (chewing).

Problems with the sensory part of the trigeminal nerve result in pain or loss of sensation in the face. Problems with the motor root of the trigeminal nerve result in deviation of the jaw toward the affected side and trouble chewing.

The cranial nerves, the trigeminal nerve included, emerge from or enter the skull (the cranium), as opposed to the spinal nerves which emerge from the vertebral column. …
and the 11th cranial nerve:
The 11th cranial nerve. The accessory nerve originates from neurons in the medulla and in the cervical spinal cord. It has a cranial root, which joins the vagus (10th cranial) nerve and sends motor fibers to the muscles of the larynx, and a spinal root, which sends motor fibers to the trapezius and the sternocleidomastoid muscles. Damage to the nerve produces weakness in head rotation and shoulder elevation.
along with the long thoracic nerve:
Injury to the long thoracic nerve causing paralysis or weakness of the serratus anterior muscle can be disabling. Patients with serratus palsy may present with pain, weakness, limitation of shoulder elevation, and scapular winging with medial translation of the scapula, rotation of the inferior angle toward the midline, and prominence of the vertebral border. Long thoracic nerve dysfunction may result from trauma or may occur without injury.
and combine them all with permanent damage to every cartilaginous structure of your throat and neck from radiation scarring they don't tell you about, making not only breathing difficult and swallowing ever harder (it's a bitch to cough up a piece of food you ate hours ago because it went into your lungs rather than the esophagus)but escalating pain levels to the point of sheer torture. And that's without even mentioning the necrotic (dead) jawbone and loss of teeth.

Well, that's how I did it and if it worked for me, it can work for you, too!

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Lets those that legislate not forget, it's pretty basic…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 1:32 PM Permalink

…and has been well-settled for a very, very long time:
Juris praecepta sunt haec:

Honeste vivere
Alterum non laedere
Suum cuique tribuere
Which, though I know the Vidiot and Sailor need no translation, for the non-Latin speakers:
The precepts of the law are these:

To live honorably
To hurt nobody
To render to everyone his due
Jus ex injuria non oritur
Right does not rise out of wrong.
(You, kind reader, must bear in mind that, without qualifications, while I might dare to write with geniuses, as a man tightrope walking for the very first time, I've really gotta work hard to try and keep up!)

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posted by Global Patriot Worker @ 1:31 PM Permalink

Bump and Update by The Vidiot: It seems that 9/11 truth movement really scares the pants off the powers that be.They're saying that the Pentagon shooter was a truther and that's what did his head in.
New details are emerging Friday morning about the suspect in a shooting in a Pentagon subway station, including a resentment toward the military and doubt about the Sept. 11. terror attacks.
OOOO, THAT'S why he did what he did. If he's nuts enough to question the official 9/11 storyline, he's obviously crazy enough to shoot up the Pentagon.


Just because it happens in the TV show "24" doesn't mean the media DOESN'T aid and abet government in real life too.

Original Post:

I have been contemplating the overarching dynamics of the past ten years and writing songs in the process. There is no doubt in my mind that the "good ole USA" is toast at least until we as citizens gain some gonads (towards a more perfect union.) The all-permeating big lie of 9/11 drenches all rationality in a sea of fear and suspicion. The trusted icons of American media aren't worth a whore's pantyhose anymore yet many sleepy Americans consider them credible. The web is alive with folks experiencing what a great and true patriot called "the animated contest for freedom." That is what VidiotSpeak and thousands of other domains are all about.

Here are songs dealing with 9/11/01, falsely premised war (treason,) the global project to disperse heavy metals (poison) into the troposphere that is ongoing and pervasive, resistance to corporate servitude and ultimately love of country… not government.

As you will hear in this collection it has always been my belief that, given a fair opportunity, peace can flourish. I believe after this round of exposing the demons within this indeed will happen. It is crucial that peace activists, true tea partiers (not repub coopters) and average citizens of good character "hitch your wagon" to the truth of 9/11. This will hasten the end of the military-industrial-drug (illegal and legal)-agriculture-intelligence-media matrix that is so corrupt and demonic.

We are on the cusp of a new day that bears no resemblance to the past one hundred years. Indeed it will be more akin to the earliest days of our nation steeped in great futuristic Voltairian thought (our own painful, hurtful and indeed murderous discretions aside.)

I welcome feedback on this collection and encourage all to help get these messages out. I have released rights on this original music for fair use given no profiteering and my take is…

Let the message be the map.


[Note by The Vidiot: A permanent link will be located on the sidebar to the right. All inquires can be sent to globalpatriotworker (at) gmail.com. We hope you enjoy the music and spread it around. Share, share, share!]


Let them eat cat food!

posted by The Vidiot @ 8:41 AM Permalink

What kind of society are we that cuts off money to senior citizens?
A measure to give some 57 million elderly people, veterans and persons with disabilities a $250 check was rejected by the Senate on Wednesday, a setback for the powerful seniors' lobby.
It's the same society that vilifies and pathologizes people who forge medicare cards so they can get free basic health care.
Officials at this hospital say more and more of these patients walking through the doors are pretending to be someone else so they won't have to pay for their own medical bills.
Read that whole article and accompanying transcript. The report was all about the scary medical mix ups that could happen and how such behavior will raise insurance rates. The report was so biased and imbalanced, I was embarrassed for NPR because NOT ONCE was it mentioned that we now live in a society where health care is so expensive and out of reach that folks need to scam the system in order to get basic medical treatment.

Think about that: NO ACCESS TO BASIC MEDICAL TREATMENT. Just seeing a doctor for a badly twisted ligament or a sore throat that won't go away. That has to be paid for and it's too expensive for A LOT of people. So expensive that they have to resort to 'criminal' behavior to access it.

Is THAT the society human beings should be living in?

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Hmmmm, will the bobble heads be obsessing about today?

posted by The Vidiot @ 8:39 AM Permalink

I wonder....
Two police officers were injured by a suspect who opened fire outside the Pentagon tonight after the officers asked him for an access pass, police said.


Best. Theft. Everrrrr.

posted by The Vidiot @ 8:36 AM Permalink

These guys are amazing. They stole 20 apple laptops.
The robbers gained access to the roof of the building by climbing up a gas pipe. The Star-Ledger reports, "On top of the building, they used a saw to cut through several inches of rubber and insulation, then sliced a 3-foot-wide square in the metal roof, he said. Once inside, the burglars dropped 16 feet to 10-foot-tall racks — avoiding contact with the floor, where motion sensors would have set off an alarm. They snatched the notebooks from the racks, then went back out through the roof."
Either that, or they've watched way too much "Mission Impossible."


Thursday, March 04, 2010

The mustachioed man with the brim of his fedora pulled low…

posted by Bill Arnett @ 11:43 PM Permalink

…trench-coated, dressed in a nondescript, inconspicuous manner, furtively casting suspicious glances at every one he passes, reaching up to tip his cap's visor in the manner of old, as much to further conceal his identity as to display the manners of old.

As he approaches the entrance to the place of business lit with garish lights, cars parked a discrete distance, men with their miniskirted women, make-up caked on their faces as if in a Kabuki dance known only to them and the men accompanying them, gentlemen also playing the game, that of chivalry, opening the car door for the long-legged beauties that they obviously hoped would be in the mood for some wild lovemaking, abandoning caution, throwing it to the wind as they would discard any doubt of their loveliness or the drop dead gorgeous visage of the man, anxious to enter their cars and leave for places more quiet and isolated in the certainty of consummating their relationship, no matter how fleeting, seeking the release that only strikingly attractive, cupid sent males, swathed in a sexy cologne, moving with a certain precision and confidence of experience, no doubt in their minds of the events to unfold this very evening, and she, she of the heaving breasts, her lipstick beginning to smear from the passionate kisses they shared as they slowly left the parking lot, no doubt heading for the easiest and fastest to get to place to achieve the Nirvana each expected the other to provide, the sweaty, hot, steamy lovemaking of lovers grown to know each other's deepest desires and able to arouse the other with speed, agility, and the long-lasting touches and kisses by now so familiar and wanted with such burning desire for hour after hour, seemingly without end, through the timelessness of heaven itself until exhaustion depleted them entirely of the energy to continue.

The man in the hat watches these events play out, silently wishing for them to leave and pursue their obvious desires elsewhere. He continues his approach into the garish light of the establishment he was to enter, stopping to take a deep breath in an attempt to raise his courage to the point of being staunchly unafraid of entering an establishment such as this, known by everyone for the variety of "toys," other items and, of course, the video material sold behind long black curtains, stopping their length two feet from the ground so the ever observant clerk could insure no one would get carried away, out of control, and do something unseemly, downright nasty, unable to contain themselves until they purchased the DVD that appealed to that secret, dark, lonely, but somehow exciting inner space that lies within the purview of all the inner minds of men and women.

He pretends to look at random items, so unaware of their nature as to not remember which particular item he had fondled, held, caressed, eyes glazed, his vision so blurred by what he sought to purchase that he could not remember a single word, not one title, not even the genre of the DVDs which he had no intention to purchase. He turns, sees the clerk assisting a cute little lady in jeans so tight the outlines of that most precious area of the female body was easily perceived, and so his chance to do what he had come to do and do it without drawing the suspicions and deprecating looks, the snarling sneering of the cretin behind the register, a man so uncouth, foul-smelling, and ugly in both appearance and character it was glaringly clear that there was no other occupation suitable or even available to one such as he; but there he was, occupied with the sweet-looking lass that was probably bent and given to prostitution, ever having sex in the back seat of a car or, as was apparently happening here, intending to engage the clerk in an act of oral sex right there at the cash register's counter. Though disgusted and repulsed the man knew this would be the one certain opportunity for him to bring the DVDs upon which even a cretin such as this would heap naught but scorn and derision to the counter for check out.

As he had thought, the clerk, a poor pitiful specimen of a man, hardly even glanced up as the man handed him the DVDs, had them scanned for price, and carefully counted out the sixty dollars and twenty-eight cents in recompense so that there would be no delays or distractions for the clerk to have to give him change and further delay his departure from this semi-den of iniquity. The instant the clerk placed his purchase in a brown paper bag he left as quickly and anonymously as he had entered, walking ever faster to his car, parked a block away so no one who knew him and saw his car would know where he had been. At breakneck speed, just within the speed limits, 'California rolling' through stop signs, it being late and traffic light, jamming the accelerator pedal to the floor at every light turning green, even risking a sure stop and possible search of his car by running through all the yellow lights as well, he somehow was lucky enough to make it to his driveway bathed in the warm yellow glow of the high pressure sodium lights that acted both to completely illuminate the driveway and front of his house, but also to block vision of any of the inside parts of his home and castle and to guarantee his privacy after dark.

He frantically searched for his purchase which, due to his almost reckless driving style, had fallen from the seat and slid under it from the centrifugal forces generated by his high speed turns. He finally found them and, breathing a sigh of relief, he quickly made the entry to his quarters quietly and swiftly. He stopped in his living room to turn on his DVD player and large screen television then made his way to his bedroom, disrobing as quickly as possible, leaving on only his silken boxer shorts that made him feel as if he, too, was one of those men he had witnessed leaving the store's parking lot with a beautiful woman at his side. He tore open the packaging of the DVDs, almost savage in his haste, opening up the fold out cases within, found the first disc of the series that so stirred his passions, almost bursting with excitement as the menu finally came on screen, began fondling himself as almost erotic rockets of pleasure shot through the skies of his mind as Chevy Chase finally appeared on screen, saying:

"Live from New York, it's Saturday night!" whereupon the man gave himself completely and wholly up to the whims and vagaries of his favorite television show ever, although in his late fifties he could never make such an admission to anyone but himself, in the privacy of his home, out of the view of others who would laugh, jeer, and make fun of his predilection.

The End of Another Bill Arnett Saga, a Tale of a Lonely Man and his Particular Fetish.

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